Sugandha Sahay of Amazon Web Services (AWS) On How To Listen Effectively To Succeed Personally And Professionally

It’s hard to be a good listener. We are programmed to want to talk, and to share. It takes effort to stop and to listen. But anyone who has achieved great success will tell you that listening is such an important quality to have. What are some ways that influential people have learned to listen, to succeed both personally and professionally? As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Sugandha Sahay.

Sugandha Sahay is a tech professional with over a decade of experience under her belt. She has worked with some big names in the industry. After finishing her undergrad, she spent over 5 years at TATA Consultancy Services working with clients like Cardinal Healthcare and Apple Inc. From there, she went on to get her masters degree from Carnegie Mellon University. Now, she’s a Technical Program Manager at AWS (Amazon) and is super passionate about responsible hyperautomation and mentoring women in tech. She’s always looking for ways to spread the word and educate others on the topic.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

I was born in a small town called Ranchi in eastern India. This belt is super rich in culture and minerals. My father worked in the coal industry and my mother worked in the banking industry. While my elder sister was super artistic, I was obsessed with technology. Technology was like the magic in my fairy tale, the means to an end where imaginative dreams develop into live realities, where the flick of a button or the swish of a gear unleashes a chain of events, almost entirely invisible to the naked eye, culminating into the final pièce de résistance. I was always curious about the story behind the curtain and the elaborate and carefully laid out, yet, blink and miss, space between act and action. One of my childhood memories is, of watching the animated science fiction series called “The Jetsons” and wondering what a far-fetched notion it would be to get things like food items, clothes and other accessories delivered at our doorsteps by just pressing a few buttons. That was what inspired me to enter the tech industry in 2012.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

I grew up with my grandparents and parents who taught me about life experiences citing examples from The Bhagavad Gita. The Bhagavad Gita explores various themes such as duty, dharma and spirituality, and emphasizes the importance of selfless action, devotion and detachment. It is considered a spiritual guide for seekers on the path to self-realization. Whenever I am scared to do something big, my parents would recite the verse “Karmanye Vadhikaraste, Ma Phaleshu Kadachana; Ma Karma Phala Hetur Bhur, Ma Te Sangostva Akarmani”. This shloka is from Chapter 2, Verse 47 of the Bhagavad Gita. The verse emphasizes the importance of performing one’s duty without attachment to the results or rewards that may come from it. Even today, when I am scared of failing, I remind myself of this mantra, and it helps me shift my perspective and calm my nerves. My version of this mantra is “If it scares you, do it anyway!”.

Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

I am a huge Bollywood movie fan, one of the movies that made a significant impact on me is Dear Zindagi (Dear Life). Dear Zindagi” is a Bollywood movie that follows the journey of a young woman, who struggles with personal and professional challenges. She seeks the help of a therapist, who helps her confront her past and gain a new perspective on life. Through their sessions, she learns to embrace her emotions and find the courage to pursue her dreams. This movie resonates with my mantra from the Bhagavad Gita, which I have mentioned above. It made me realize that the most challenging battle to win is the one with my mind. Once I have convinced my mind, I can work towards the most challenging task.

Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s begin with a definition of terms so that each of us and our readers are on the same page. What exactly does being a good listener mean?

Being a good listener means giving your focused attention to the person speaking and trying to connect with what they are saying. A good listener does not interrupt, judge, or criticize the speaker, but rather listens actively and empathetically, using both verbal and nonverbal cues to show that they are engaged and present in the conversation. Good listeners are patient, open-minded and respectful, and they seek to understand the speaker’s perspective and feelings without imposing their own. They also ask questions and provide feedback to show that they are actively processing the information and are interested in the conversation.

Overall, being a good listener is an essential skill for effective communication, building trust and fostering positive relationships with others. It requires practice, patience and a genuine willingness to connect with others and understand their point of view.

Why is effective listening such an important quality? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?

Effective listening helps improve communication. When we listen carefully to others, we can better understand the speaker’s perspective, needs, and concerns, and this can help us communicate with them more effectively. When people feel heard and understood, they are more likely to be open and receptive to what we have to say. This helps foster strong relationships. Attentive listening is also a valuable tool for learning and personal growth. When we listen to others, we can learn from their experiences and perspectives. This can broaden our knowledge and help us become more well-rounded and empathetic.

When we don’t listen effectively, misunderstandings can easily arise. This can lead to conflict and strained relationships. When I was 4, my family and I were enjoying ourselves on a crowded beach in Goa, India. I was in the zone building an epic sand castle, while my family was frolicking in the Arabian Sea. My mom came over and said something to me, but I was so focused on my sandy masterpiece that I didn’t listen intently. What she said was “I need to change, I am going to the changing room”. All I apparently heard was “I am going”. Suddenly, it hit me that she was leaving, and I freaked out! I sprinted around the beach like a crazed sand crab, nearly getting lost in the process. Luckily, my dad spotted me in time, saving the day. Let’s just say that after that incident, I learned to listen up effectively and confirm my understanding, so that no beach day (or sand castle) would be ruined again!

From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that hold someone back from being a good listener?

Listening is an art that needs constant practice. Most people are not intentionally bad at listening. In my experience, below are three common barriers that hold people from being a good listener:

1. Credibility issues: When we feel that we are more competent than the person talking to us on the topic of conversation, we subconsciously shut off to the person.
2. Focus issues: Similar to my beach day incident, when I was super focused on the sand castle, several times people are dealing with other top of the mind items. This impairs their listening unless the speaker is talking about one of the things on the listener’s mind.
3. Comprehension issues: When we are listening and not comprehending the speaker’s full context, then we may feel lost or even confused. This could be due to the speaker’s choice of words, accent or pace of speech. This can cause some cognitive loads on the listener, who then subconsciously may not want to listen further.

What are some practical techniques that have helped you become a more effective listener?

To practice active listening, I follow the DIG process of active listening, every time I am in a conversation with someone. I have explained this process in detail below:

1. Drop ego and open your mind: Before I step into a personal or professional discussion, I remind myself that the speaker has valuable opinions. I remind myself that my job title, accomplishments or paycheck does not make me better than the speaker. This reminder makes it easier for me to really listen to their discussion points. Since I started following this approach in 2012, I have gotten much better at active listening.
2. Inquire to get the full picture: During a conversation, I ask clarifying questions to get the full picture of the speaker’s ideas or thoughts.. This helps me better understand the root of the thought being presented to me. Getting the full context helps me make a decision whether to accept the feedback, idea or thought or to keep it in my back pocket for a later time. This also helped me become a more comprehensive listener.
3. Get something noteworthy out of each conversation: I carry a note taking app or notebook and pen with me to make notes of important ideas discussed during the conversation. I go into the discussion with a goal of coming out with at least 3 bullet points from the discussion. When listening with a goal of what’s in it for me, I have found myself focusing well on the conversation.

The DIG process has been easy enough for me to follow for the past decade. It has improved my listening ability phenomenally. It has shown great results in my personal relationships and at work.

Here is the central question of our discussion. What are five ways that listening effectively can help someone succeed personally and professionally? If you can, please share a story or an example for each.

1 . Effective listening got me an admit to my master’s program at Carnegie Mellon University ( #1 — Information and Technology Management (U.S. News and World Report). I knew what I wanted to gain from my master’s program. However, I did not know which program to join. I followed the DIG process not only while interviewing alumni from various master’s programs but also while getting feedback on my admission essays.

2 . Effective listening got me a job of my choice at Amazon Web Services (AWS). I had first talked to a Technical Program Manager at AWS in 2019 and he gave me insightful guidance to stand out in interviews. I actually interviewed with AWS three years after this conversation, however, the notes that I then gathered were with me and helped me land the job.

3 . Effective listening got me promoted in my previous job at DataCore Software Corporation. I always follow the DIG process during meetings at work. I intently listened to and understood the problems that my stakeholders were facing and worked towards solving these problems.

4 . Personally, comprehensive listening has helped me build an amazing relationship with my husband. I am also able to listen beyond words and comprehend his body language, hand gestures and other cues.

5 . Focused listening helped me score 100% in the listening section of my TOEFL test.My masters program at Carnegie Mellon University required international applicants like me to score well in the Test of English as a Foreign Language (TOEFL). This required me to listen to the spoken content, comprehend it and respond to questions based on content.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

One of the most important resources is time. It is constantly running and we feel that we never have enough time to do all the things we want to. I am super passionate about responsible hyperautomation. Responsible hyperautomation is the use of advanced automation technologies including Artificial Intelligence (AI) with careful consideration of their impact on individuals, society, and the environment. I am working towards spreading more awareness about how responsible hyperautomation can help make each one of us more productive and efficient. I want to enable the world to use automation and AI to do more, be present for their near and dear ones, focus their brain bandwidth on more strategic tasks and evolve together towards a better tomorrow.

Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!

I would love to have lunch with Indra Nooyi. We’re both Indian women who have immigrant backgrounds and come from industries where women are underrepresented. I am currently reading her memoir and love how candidly and boldly she has shared her experiences as a women executive. I am super inspired by the positive changes she brought in her industry. When I meet her, I would love to learn her techniques to negotiate buy-ins on bringing a change mindset like a boss!

How can our readers continue to follow your work online?

Visit my website: sugandhasahay.com

Book a networking call with me: https://www.criya.site/sugandha

Follow or connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sugandhasahay

Follow me on Instagram: @sugandha_sahay

Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!

About the Interviewer: Douglas E. Noll, JD, MA was born nearly blind, crippled with club feet, partially deaf, and left-handed. He overcame all of these obstacles to become a successful civil trial lawyer. In 2000, he abandoned his law practice to become a peacemaker. His calling is to serve humanity, and he executes his calling at many levels. He is an award-winning author, teacher, and trainer. He is a highly experienced mediator. Doug’s work carries him from international work to helping people resolve deep interpersonal and ideological conflicts. Doug teaches his innovative de-escalation skill that calms any angry person in 90 seconds or less. With Laurel Kaufer, Doug founded Prison of Peace in 2009. The Prison of Peace project trains life and long terms incarcerated people to be powerful peacemakers and mediators. He has been deeply moved by inmates who have learned and applied deep, empathic listening skills, leadership skills, and problem-solving skills to reduce violence in their prison communities. Their dedication to learning, improving, and serving their communities motivates him to expand the principles of Prison of Peace so that every human wanting to learn the skills of peace may do so. Doug’s awards include California Lawyer Magazine Lawyer of the Year, Best Lawyers in America Lawyer of the Year, Purpose Prize Fellow, International Academy of Mediators Syd Leezak Award of Excellence, National Academy of Distinguished Neutrals Neutral of the Year. His four books have won a number of awards and commendations. Doug’s podcast, Listen With Leaders, is now accepting guests. Click on this link to learn more and apply.