Overcoming Anxiety: Liz Hilton of Swaddelini On Five Effective Strategies for Mental Well-Being

Anxiety seems to be the dis-ease of our times. More people than ever are taking medications to help them cope with stress. Nearly everyone I talk to is consumed with anxious feelings that hijack any pleasure they could be getting from their lives. The pressure to “produce” combined with a perception of “not enough time,” combines to create anxiety, self-doubt, frustration and resentment. Resentment, then, is often taken out on your closest, most important relationships. As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Liz Hilton.

Liz Hilton is a mother of 4 children ages 8 months to 7 years. Hilton is the inventor and founder of swaddelini, a soft and stretchy sleep sack which helps newborns sleep better.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you tell us a bit about you and your backstory?

I wanted to be a fashion designer and a mother since I was 11 years old. I went to FIT (Fashion Institute of Technology) to realize my career dream. It was there I fell in love with knitting and learned how to program CNC knitting machines to create garments in one piece without any waste. Unfortunately, when I graduated the fashion industry was not ready to use this technology, so I took a job bringing 3D knit solutions to office furniture. In 2015, I realize my high-strung ADHD personality was not conducive to corporate America. I became an entrepreneur and opened a 3D knitting shop to help companies across a variety of industries push the boundaries of soft good additive manufacturing. In 2017 I became a mother for the first time and my little baby could not sleep. Which meant neither could I. In my postpartum haze of running my business and caring for my newborn, I managed to invent a solution to my sleepless nights. I knit my son a swaddle that could both hug him and allow him the freedom of movement he so desired. Within a few days I had the first prototype. When my husband and I put him in his crib wearing the prototype for the first time, we did not know what to expect. We woke up in the morning having slept through the night! We ran to his crib and there he was, sleeping peacefully. My husband grabbed my arm and said, “Liz, you’re going to sell a million of these!” Although we haven’t sold a million (yet) we have sold several thousand all over the world and have since outgrown manufacturing in our garage and now we make them in a big facility with 15 other people here in Holland, MI. It is a great story but what you don’t see is how throughout starting and growing the swaddelini business, I was also struggling with postpartum emotional distress.

As a successful person in your field, have you or do you experience anxiety? And if so, how do you manage, reduce or eliminate anxiety so you can work efficiently and enjoy your non-work hours?

I have ADHD which is very different from anxiety but can sometimes present in a similar way. Before becoming a Mother I had my systems for handling my ADHD which included; doing all tasks under 15 minutes as soon as they came up, making appointments in my google calendar as soon as an event is mentioned, and being able to complete tasks imperfectly. I believe anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. I can never be a perfect business owner/Mother/spouse/friend, but it is worth doing. If I do not live in the moment, the moment is gone and the opportunity to act on it has passed. My first-time experiencing anxiety was after having my first son. I did not think anything of it. I am naturally a high-strung individual. I thought I was just having a bad day. A long string of ‘bad days.’ I knew I did not have PPD so I figured I was fine. I thought since I had no feelings of self-harm or baby harm that I was in the clear. When my rage started taking a toll on my personal life, I knew it was time to ask for help.

Have you gone through a period of time in your life where you felt as though you were drowning in anxiety? If so, please share your experience and what you perceive as the reasons.

I first noticed something was wrong when I flipped out at my son’s daycare. I could not find his naptime blanket which his Auntie in Australia had crocheted by hand. I was convinced that they had misplaced it (they had not, I found it in a closet weeks later). The way I handled this situation was so dramatically out of character for me that I was told my son would no longer be able to attend daycare at their facility if I continued to behave in this way. Their response to my behavior was completely warranted. I told the story to my therapist in detail, and he concluded that I might have “postpartum emotional distress”. I brought this to my OB and she agreed this postpartum rage was taking a toll on my quality of life and she prescribed me 50mg of Zoloft. After a weeks of taking the Zoloft it felt like a cloud had lifted. I could think more clearly and regulate more easily. I took it for 6 months and went off. That was all I needed to get back to being me.

What or whom did you lean on to help you cope with anxiety?

My therapist, my OB, and most importantly, my husband. Since my first postpartum experience, I have learned to prepare for my postpartum. We all spend so much time preparing for birth and baby we forget to prepare ourselves for postpartum. I needed my husband to take on night feedings so I could get adequate rest, I needed my therapist and OB to prescribe me the medication I needed.

What lessons did you derive from that dark period of time, that serve you now?

The biggest mistake I made was spending all my time pregnant preparing for having a baby and zero time preparing for my postpartum period. I had 0 meals prepped, 0 boundaries drawn, 0 help asked for. What a disaster. I paid dearly for this lack of planning in the decline of my mental health.

Do you have days or circumstances that still cause excessive stress?

When one of my babies starts crying it is so easy to match their energy. I like to stop and remind myself of how grateful I am for their existence. I will silently give them thanks for being such a good baby and teaching me to be a better Mother and a better person. But sometimes I must leave the room for a moment before I am able to give them the care they need. Walking away (if it is safe to do so) and coming back a minute later, has also been a valuable tool for me. Gratitude and then if that doesn’t work, a moment of space and peace.

What are your dependable “go to” strategies that you use to restore balance to your emotions?

Nutrition: If I am out of balance chances are it’s because my diet has been out of balance.

Rest: When you are a new mom rest is the most important and most difficult thing you can do for your well-being.

Outdoor walks: I was not able to do this when my daughter was born a few months ago because it was winter and walking in the snow postpartum is not encouraged. I am trying to make up for lost time now.

Please name five tips, practices, beliefs or affirmations that you recommend to anyone going through a highly stressful time.

The key to achieving the best possible postpartum recovery is in the prep work. Before you give birth, prepare for your postpartum!

1 . Nutrition. When it comes to postpartum recovery, food is medicine! But you should not be cooking postpartum. Cook your nourishing meals in advance. Plan with your partner, family and friends to help realize your nutrition recovery dreams.

2 . Postpartum Retreat Centers. If the funds are available, go from hospital to postpartum retreat hotel. This typically costs between $800–1400 a night. If the finances are there this could be the experience that positions you to have the best recovery possible.

3 . Sleep and Rest. Of course, this is hard to come by when caring for a newborn but there are tricks to helping your baby sleep. Get a good sleep sack. I got the swaddelini, this will help your baby feel safe and secure like they did in your womb.

4 . Help list. Delegate tasks before the birth. Everyone will ask you “What can I do to help?” have a specific list ready! You should not have any responsibilities (cooking, cleaning or otherwise) in your first few weeks postpartum. The only person relying on you is your baby. Your baby is your only priority.

5 . Protect your mental space. For me that meant setting boundaries with family and friends.

My husband was the enforcer of these boundaries. I needed isolation to mentally and physically heal. Whatever you need to create this space- do it. The investment here will pay off in the long run.

Prioritizing nutrition, rest and mental health in postpartum has proven to reduce PPD and have long lasting positive effects on the mental health of the Mother. Unfortunately, most women in the West do not have access to postpartum care and they pay for it dearly in the decline of their mental health over time.

On a scale of one-ten, if 8–10 was your former, chronic level of anxiety, how would you score your usual level of anxiety today?

Today I am a solid 3. My baby only woke me up once for a feeding last night. I ate a good breakfast. I spent quality time with my children before coming to work. The only thing that could make it better is a walk outside, but I know I will do that with my kids when I get home tonight.

Do you have daily practices that support you in maintaining peace, calmness or balance in your life?

Compression therapy has been a technique I started using when I learned about it from a somatic movement therapist. Since I make therapeutic baby swaddles, I made one for myself. I can get my entire body inside and it simulates the feeling of an all-encompassing hug. The resistance is calming and helps me regulate my breathing. I also take time to be grateful for everything. The health of my children, the strength of my marriage, the growth of our business. The list is endless but those are the big ones. I choose to practice my gratefulness in the form of prayer; however, I believe this can be practiced regardless of if you have a religion or not.

Was there any particular saying, person, or book that taught you the skills that enable you to escape or avoid the higher levels of anxiety that used to plague you?

“Welcome the mess.” Is a mantra used by Heng Ou to express how there no such thing as a perfect postpartum so we must embrace it. When it comes to postpartum emotional distress, simply knowing that this condition exists and will not be here forever is very comforting. I know my postpartum emotional distress will disappear by the time my baby is 1 year old. For general anxiety I remind myself of my humanity and how innately imperfect it is. This reminds me that there is no such thing as perfection. There is no perfect parent. There is no perfect spouse. There is no perfect child. There is no perfect postpartum. I take such relief in my own imperfection.

Thank you for sharing your wisdom with those who are reading this article. Are there also other ways you are sharing your wisdom?

I am collaborating with the author of the postpartum Bible “The first 40 days” by Heng Ou and The Village to cultivate a cultural shift in how America treats postpartum women. Swaddelini is sponsoring a pregnant woman’s stay at The Village, a postpartum retreat center in San Francisco. Heng Ou and I will be helping her to prepare for her postpartum the way women in the East prepare for their postpartum recovery. Heng and I believe if more Americans focused on their postpartum recovery, we would have far less postpartum emotional distress and PPD. We are calling this Project CHIP (cultivating health in postpartum) and we will be posting our “preparing for postpartum” and our “recovery in postpartum” tips and tricks across all our platforms so we can help women all over the country prepare for the best recovery possible.

Wonderful. We are nearly done. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. :-)?

I wish I could meet with every expectant mother in the world. I wish I could tell them what they are about to experience is messy but worth it, it’s hard but it’s beautiful, and you will change forever but for the better.

You are a person of enormous influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

I want every postpartum woman in America to prepare for their postpartum.

I want every postpartum woman in America to invest in rest.

I want every woman in America to have 40 days of nutrition, rest and bonding with their baby.

I want to normalize 40 days of isolation for new Mothers with their newborns.

How can our readers follow your work online?

My website is www.swaddelini.com and Project CHIP can be found here: www.cultivatinghealthinpostpartum.com

Thank you so much for joining us. This was very inspirational.

About the Interviewer: After becoming her father’s sole caregiver at a young age, Lucinda Koza founded I-Ally, a community-based app that provides access to services and support for millennial family caregivers. Mrs. Koza has had essays published in Thought Catalog, Medium Women, Caregiving.com and Hackernoon.com. She was featured in ‘Founded by Women: Inspiration and Advice from over 100 Female Founders’ by Sydney Horton. A filmmaker, Mrs. Koza premiered short film ‘Laura Point’ at the 2015 Cannes Film Festival and recently co-directed ‘Caregivers: A Story About Them’ with Egyptian filmmaker Roshdy Ahmed. Her most notable achievement, however, has been becoming a mother to fraternal twins in 2023. Reach out to Lucinda via social media or directly by email: lucinda@i-ally.com.