Joe O’Connor Of The Transformer: Five Life and Leadership Lessons I Learned In The Military

As a part of our series about “Life and Leadership Lessons Learned In The Military”, we had the pleasure of interviewing Joe O’Connor

Joe O’Connor is a military veteran and former SAS selection candidate. He is a successful Professional Financial Advisor of nearly 40 years, CEO at The Transformer business coaching, a podcast host and founder of the charity Transformation for Veterans.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a bit about your childhood “backstory”?

I was born in Glasgow, Scotland. Moving back to Widnes, England where my working-class upbringing, shaped by strong family values and a close-knit sense of community moulded me. As a youngster, I was adventurous and curious, always keen to test my limits — qualities that would later carry me through military life.

One of the most defining moments of my childhood happened when I was 14 years old. I was hit by a car and left for dead at the roadside. It was a catastrophic incident — my heart stopped, and I died there at the roadside. Altogether, I died three times that day. Thanks to the incredible NHS staff and sheer determination, I lived to tell the tale.

That near-death experience changed me profoundly. It gave me an unshakeable drive and a sense of purpose that has never left me. It taught me that life is precious, that every day is a bonus, and that no obstacle is insurmountable if you choose to fight through it.

And what are you doing today? Can you share a story that exemplifies the unique work you are doing?

Today, I’m on a mission to inspire, educate, and motivate one million entrepreneurs and veterans to achieve the goals, dreams, and aspirations they deserve. Through my Pathfinder programme and the ‘O’ Group, I help individuals build what I call their “ultimate success system” — a framework to transform health, wealth, and mindset so they can thrive in every aspect of their lives.

My work is about showing people how to create clarity, take decisive action, and build resilience, drawing on my own military experiences and the lessons I learned in overcoming adversity.

For example, one Pathfinder client had been struggling for years with procrastination and self-doubt after leaving the Armed Forces. He was frustrated, feeling that civilian life wasn’t offering him the same purpose or camaraderie. Through working together, he applied the Pathfinder principles — reconnecting with his values, clarifying his mission, and using practical tools to break through limiting beliefs. Within six months, he’d launched a successful business helping other veterans transition into employment, and just as importantly, he’d rediscovered his own sense of purpose and pride.

On the civilian side, I worked with a corporate professional who felt trapped in a high-pressure role, weighed down by office politics and stress. She had a passion for helping others but didn’t know how to transform it into a meaningful business. Using the Pathfinder methodology, she was able to build a clear plan of action, develop the right mindset, and design a path forward. Within a year, she left her corporate role and created her own thriving wellness coaching practice, gaining back her freedom, her health, and her happiness.

The common thread in these and countless other business owners I’ve worked with is the entrepreneurial spirit each of them showed. The insatiable desire to win if you like.

Can you tell us a bit about your military background?

My military background is something I’m deeply proud of. I served in the British Army with the Corps of Royal Engineers, the esprit de corps renowned for its problem-solving mindset and “get it done” attitude, no matter how challenging the conditions. As part of my role with the Royal Engineers, I was trained in high-risk bomb disposal operations (EOD), which demanded absolute precision, calmness under pressure, and a relentless focus on detail — skills that still serve me today.

After my time in the Royal Engineers, at the grand age of 37 years, I transferred to the SAS for the grueling Selection process, one of the toughest mental and physical tests on the planet. During selection, I suffered a near-fatal fall, being lifted off my feet by gale-force winds and thrown down a 400-foot mountainside. I broke my neck — shattering C5 and fracturing C6. Doctors told me I’d never walk again, yet thanks to sheer determination, the incredible NHS team, and the mindset I’d built through my military service, I proved them wrong and rebuilt my life from scratch.

Can you share the most interesting story you experienced during your military career? What “takeaway” did you learn from that story?

One of the most unforgettable experiences came during my time in bomb disposal. We were tasked with a battle area clearance job. The area of land had been heavily bombarded and contained a high number of below surface complex and highly unpredictable unexploded ordnance. As I led my section to the task, every sense was heightened, every breath measured, because one wrong move could have meant disaster not just for me, but for those nearby.

In those tense moments, I had to trust my training, trust my team, and stay absolutely focused on the mission. There was no room for panic or hesitation.

What I took away from that is something I teach to this day: calmness under extreme pressure is a superpower. No matter how chaotic or dangerous a situation appears, there is always a way to break it down, focus on the essentials, and move forward one careful step at a time.

Did you experience or hear about a story of heroism during your military experience? Can you share that story?

Yes. During a training exercise in the Royal Engineers, a young soldier in my section showed incredible courage when a fellow recruit collapsed under the strain of heat exhaustion. Without hesitation, this young lad — only 18 years old — took charge of the situation, administered first aid, organized others to help, and stayed with his mate until the medics arrived, reassuring him all the while.

There was no drama, no fuss — just decisive action, born out of loyalty and training. That moment saved the other soldier’s life, and he didn’t even think of it as heroism. To him, it was simply looking after one of his own. That is true heroism in my book.

Based on that story, how would you define what a “hero” is? Can you explain?

For me, a hero is someone who puts the welfare of others before their own, without needing praise or recognition. It is about stepping up in the moment, taking action even when it feels uncomfortable or risky, and staying calm under pressure so you can do what is right.

A hero isn’t always the loudest or the strongest. Often, it is the person who quietly takes responsibility, supports others, and stays true to their values when it would be easier to look away.

Does a person need to be facing a life-and-death situation to do something heroic or to be called a hero?

I don’t believe someone needs to face a life-and-death situation to be called a hero. Heroism comes in many forms, and some of the most powerful examples happen in everyday life.

Being a hero can mean standing up for someone who’s being mistreated, even when it’s unpopular. It might be pushing through fear to pursue your dreams, setting an example for others to follow. It can be working tirelessly to support your family or community or showing up every day for people who depend on you.

Heroism is about courage, integrity, and selflessness, whether you are risking your own safety or making a hard choice when nobody is watching.

During my almost 40 years in business and 15 years in the military, I have witnessed many examples of heroism. Often, the most heroic acts are delivered from those you would least expect.

Based on your military experience, can you share with our readers 5 Leadership or Life Lessons that you learned?

1️⃣ Clarity is everything
In the military, you cannot afford confusion. On a bomb disposal mission, clarity saves lives. In business, it saves careers. Define your mission, communicate it, and make sure everyone knows their role.

2️⃣ Adaptability wins
One exercise involved a booby-trapped device that would have detonated with a standard approach. I had to adapt instantly to avoid disaster. In business, the same agility is critical when plans fall apart.

3️⃣ Calm is a superpower
After my near-fatal fall, panic would have cost me everything. Calmness allowed me to plan, recover, and rebuild. Entrepreneurs must develop that same calm under pressure.

4️⃣ Service above self
In the Army, it was about the team and the mission, not personal glory. In business, leaders who serve others build trust and loyalty that drives long-term success.

5️⃣ Resilience is essential
Being told I might never walk again tested every fibre of my character. Resilience is non-negotiable if you want to achieve anything worthwhile, whether in uniform or in the boardroom.

Do you think your experience in the military helped prepare you for business? Can you explain?

Absolutely. The military gave me mission focus, strategic thinking, and the confidence to act decisively under pressure. In business, you face high-stakes decisions and people depending on you to deliver — just as soldiers do.

The Army taught me how to lead, how to adapt, and how to bounce back from setbacks — skills that are invaluable for any entrepreneur or executive. Those skills are exactly what I now help entrepreneurs and executives’ harness through my coaching, mentoring and Pathfinder programmes.

Did you struggle after you were demobbed? What have you done to adjust and thrive in civilian life?

Transitioning was tough. I lost the structure, the camaraderie, and the sense of mission I had in the military. Recovering from my broken neck added another level of challenge.

What helped me was building a new mission: to inspire, educate, and motivate one million entrepreneurs and veterans. That mission gave me purpose, and surrounding myself with a strong network of mentors and peers helped me stay accountable.

For anyone transitioning, I would say: build a mission that excites you. Then find the people and support systems help you make it happen.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?

Yes — I’m expanding The Pathfinder: Define, Design, and Dominate Your Destiny through live events, online learning, and one-to-one coaching. I’m also growing The Pathfinder: Your Ultimate Success System and The Mastermind & beyond programme, which brings entrepreneurs and veterans together to collaborate and grow.

Alongside that, through Transformation for Veterans, the registered charity I founded, I want to build dedicated lodges where veterans can recover and get the help, support, and guidance they need to rebuild their lives.

All these projects help people take ownership of their future, develop resilience, and achieve the goals they truly deserve.

What advice would you give to other leaders to help their team thrive?

Set a mission so clear that nobody can doubt it and serve your people so they can deliver on that mission. Lead by example, demonstrate calm under pressure, and make time to understand what motivates each person on your team.

Consistency, clarity, and compassion build thriving, high-performance teams.

What advice would you give to other leaders about the best way to manage a large team?

Break large teams into smaller, empowered units with trusted leaders. Communicate clearly, reinforce the mission constantly, and keep systems simple.

Most importantly, stay visible and authentic. People perform best when they trust you and see you walking the talk.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

The collective of my family and friends were instrumental. When I was in hospital recovering from my broken neck, there were days I wanted to give up. During visits, I was reminded that I’d been given a second chance, and something inside told me to use it well. The message was delivered so strong, it lit a fire in me that still burns today.

His strength and belief shaped how I view resilience, and how I now teach others to push beyond their limits.

How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?

Beyond my coaching and speaking work, I founded Transformation for Veterans, a registered charity supporting veterans to rebuild their lives. As part of that, I aim to build lodges to give veterans a safe, hospitable and inspiring place to rest, recuperate and reset.

Through The Pathfinder book, The Pathfinder Ultimate Success System and The Mastermind & beyond programme, I’m helping people create clarity, resilience, and purpose so they can build a positive legacy in their own communities. To learn more, anyone can download a free copy of the Pathfinder book here. If my story can help even one person believe they can change their future, then it has all been worth it.

If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

I would champion a movement of personal accountability and resilience, where people refuse to play the victim, step up to own their future, and commit to helping others as they grow.

If more people acted with that mindset, we would transform families, businesses, and entire communities.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

One of my favorite life lessons is from Winston Churchill:

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

After my injury, there were countless moments I could have stopped. Churchill’s words reminded me that courage, not perfection, is what matters. That belief still guides me today, and it is the mindset I help instill in my clients through The Pathfinder resources.

Thank you so much for these amazing insights. This was truly uplifting.