Postpartum depression affects millions of women worldwide, yet it remains a topic that is often misunderstood and stigmatized. Through this series, we aim to shed light on the various aspects of postpartum depression, including its symptoms, causes, treatment options, and the impact it has on individuals and families.
As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Lara Barbir.
Dr. Lara Barbir, PsyD is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, educator, and speaker specializing in trauma, depression, perinatal mental health, and emotionally secure caregiving. She integrates trauma-informed, nervous system–based approaches — including EMDR and interpersonal psychotherapy — to help individuals and families move beyond insight toward sustainable emotional regulation and wellbeing. Dr. Barbir is the author of EMDR for Depression: Overcome the Trauma That Drives Your Symptoms and teaches, supervises, and speaks nationally on prevention-focused mental health care. Her work is guided by a mission to support emotionally secure parents and prevent the intergenerational transmission of emotional distress.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we begin, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a little about yourself?
I’m a clinical psychologist who has spent over a decade working with adults navigating depression, trauma, and major life transitions. Over time, my work increasingly focused on the perinatal period because it’s such a vulnerable — and powerful — window for both healing and risk. I’m deeply interested in how nervous system stress, attachment patterns, and unmet emotional needs shape mental health, especially during transitions into parenthood. I also teach and train other clinicians, which has strengthened my commitment to prevention and emotionally secure caregiving across generations.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview, about postpartum depression. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. Can you please tell us what postpartum depression is?
Postpartum depression is a mood disorder that can emerge during pregnancy or after the birth of a child and is characterized by persistent sadness, anxiety, irritability, emotional numbness, guilt, or difficulty bonding. Importantly, postpartum depression is not limited to mothers — it can affect people of all genders, including fathers, non-gestational parents, and caregivers. At its core, postpartum depression reflects a nervous system under strain during a period of intense biological, emotional, and relational change.
Can you discuss some common misconceptions about postpartum depression and why they are harmful?
One of the most harmful misconceptions is that postpartum depression is a sign of weakness or a failure to bond. Another is that it only affects women or only appears immediately after birth. These beliefs increase shame and delay help-seeking. When we frame postpartum depression as a personal flaw instead of a predictable response to stress, sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, and relational pressure, people suffer longer and more silently.
Can you explain the role of hormonal changes in postpartum depression, and how does this influence treatment approaches?
Hormonal shifts — particularly drops in estrogen and progesterone — do play a role, but they’re only part of the picture. Hormones interact with sleep deprivation, stress, trauma history, and social support. This is why effective treatment needs to be multi-layered: addressing biological factors, supporting nervous system regulation, and strengthening relational and emotional support rather than relying on a single intervention.
How does postpartum depression impact the bonding between a mother and her baby, and what interventions are available to address this?
Postpartum depression can interfere with bonding by blunting emotional responsiveness or increasing anxiety and self-criticism. This doesn’t mean attachment is “broken.” With support, bonding can absolutely be repaired and strengthened. Interventions include trauma-informed therapy, attachment-focused work, dyadic interventions, and practical support that reduces overwhelm and restores emotional capacity. Common evidence-based psychotherapies used during this period include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT), and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy.
What are some of the best ways to treat postpartum depression?
The most effective treatments are individualized and trauma-informed. Therapy approaches that address nervous system regulation, relational stress, and underlying trauma are especially helpful. In some cases, medication can be an important part of treatment. Equally critical are sleep support, community care, and reducing unrealistic expectations placed on new parents.
Ok super. Here is the main question of our interview. Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Things Everyone Should Know About Postpartum Depression?” Please share a story or an example with each one.
1. Postpartum depression affects people of all genders — not just women.
The research shows that at least 1 in 7 mothers and 1 in 10 fathers experience postpartum depression or anxiety. I’ve worked with many fathers and non-gestational parents who felt invisible because postpartum depression is often framed as a women’s issue. This invisibility increases shame and delays support, which can make recovery harder.
2. It’s not a personal failure — it’s a nervous system under strain.
Postpartum depression isn’t a sign that someone is weak, ungrateful, or incapable of parenting. It’s often the result of a nervous system overwhelmed by hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, trauma history, lack of support, unrealistic expectations, and the complex interaction among these variables. Prior trauma and attachment patterns significantly increase vulnerability, even in wanted, supported pregnancies. When we stop blaming individuals, people get help sooner.
3. Understanding why you feel this way is not the same as healing.
Many parents understand why they feel this way on an intellectual level, but still feel stuck. Insight alone rarely creates change — especially if it’s just cognitive. Healing requires emotional and physiological integration — experiences that help the nervous system feel safer and more supported, not just more informed. It’s the emotional insight that allows parents to respond differently under stress.
4. Struggles with bonding are common — and repair is possible.
Postpartum depression can temporarily interfere with emotional connection, but this does not mean attachment is permanently damaged. With the right support that promotes attachment reorganization, bonding can be repaired and even strengthened. What matters most is responsiveness over time, not perfection in the early weeks. Relationships can heal and deepen — starting first and foremost with the relationship the affected person has within themselves. Supporting a parent’s regulation and self-compassion is therefore foundational to raising emotionally secure children.
5. Prevention is possible — and we don’t talk about it enough.
Supporting emotional regulation, realistic expectations, and relational support before and during parenthood can significantly reduce the risk of postpartum depression. When we invest in parents’ emotional wellbeing through early, trauma-informed support, we protect not only individuals but entire families — for generations to come. Prevention is not only possible, but super meaningful and powerful.
What are some practical strategies for supporting a partner or loved one experiencing postpartum depression?
Listen without trying to fix. Normalize their experience. Help reduce practical burdens like sleep deprivation. Encourage professional support without pressure or judgment. Most importantly, remind them they are not failing — they are overwhelmed.
What are some cultural or societal factors that may contribute to the prevalence and experience of postpartum depression, and how can we address these effectively?
Cultural myths about “doing it all,” lack of parental leave, social isolation, and stigma around mental health all contribute. Addressing postpartum depression requires systemic change — policies that support families, inclusive care for all parents, and community-based support rather than individual blame.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
I would start a prevention-focused movement centered on reparenting and emotional security — helping adults learn how to meet their own emotional needs so they can parent from regulation rather than survival. Supporting parents’ nervous systems isn’t just mental health care; it’s an investment in future generations. When caregivers feel emotionally supported, children benefit — and so does society as a whole.
How can our readers further follow you online?
Readers can find me on my website, drlarabarbir.com, where I share educational resources, writing, and information about my work. I also regularly share mental health and parenting-related content on LinkedIn and YouTube, with a focus on trauma-informed, prevention-oriented approaches to emotional wellbeing. My goal across platforms is to make evidence-based psychological insights accessible, compassionate, and applicable to real life — especially for parents and caregivers navigating major transitions.
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
