Thank you so much for your time! I know that you are a very busy person. Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’ and how you got started?
I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and have a boutique psychotherapy practice based in New York. I started my practice with the purpose of helping adults and young adults create an improved experience in their skin and mind. My work is both theory-driven and relationship-driven, with an emphasis on an authentic therapeutic connection. I use a mix of modalities including CBT, DBT, IFS, and mindfulness. I aim to be as imaginative as possible by staying up to date with research and helping people find more creative ways to look at themselves and apply new tools.
Getting involved in this field was an easy decision for me. I felt a calling to help others achieve an easier life experience. I wanted to help people realize they aren’t alone and hoped to give people a language for what they’re experiencing. I wanted to let people bring their whole selves into the relationship and feel seen. Often people come to therapy holding a bag of stuff but they don’t know or understand what is inside, and it is impacting their daily lives. Therapy is the process of looking through that bag together and figuring out what is in there and why it’s in there. Being a part of people’s healing journeys and being able to be alongside them as they grow is truly a privilege.
I help people look at every part of themselves with curiosity and compassion. The focus is on healing, not fixing. I help them sit with the nuances of life so that they may navigate through the inevitable and challenging parts of our existence and learn to respond in different ways.
None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person that you are grateful for, who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
I’m grateful for my Mom. She helped me get to where I am because of her unconditional love, acceptance, and support. I was a creative child who loved to write my own songs and poetry, make up my own versions of games, and always thought outside the box — sometimes too far outside. She accepted and celebrated each of these qualities and quirks. If I wanted to do something, she was right there beside me cheering me on. At one point I was going to pursue music and she was right there with me. When I decided to become a therapist, she was right by my side again.
A story — In kindergarten, we were assigned a color-by-number of a house with a chimney that had a large puff of smoke. Instead of coloring the key #6 — gray for the chimney smoke, I changed the key by crossing out gray and writing green for number 6. My version was a more pleasing tree behind the house. My teacher called my mother in to evaluate if I was able to follow instruction. My mother explained that I did not ignore the key, but rather changed it, showing that I respected the key and was capable of following the instruction. The next day, the drawing was framed in our home.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Generosity — being generous is more than sharing what you have. I see it as sharing what IS you. Generosity of spirit is fundamental to a successful leader. Fostering a community of lifting others helps others rise with you and provides in them a willingness to follow your lead. Successful leaders know that there is enough success to go around.
Authenticity — being authentic, or true to yourself and your values, is another essential quality of a successful leader. Authentic people are honest with themselves and can self-reflect and take responsibility for their actions. When faced with pressure, an authentic leader will stay on course and not cave to the whims of others.
Imaginative/ innovative / creative — having the ability to think outside the box is something I’ve always appreciated and practiced. Being open to new ideas and new possibilities demonstrates an understanding and willingness to acknowledge that others may see things in ways you cannot. There is a humility in being innovative.
Ok, fantastic. Let’s now turn to the crux of our interview. Can you recall a moment when embracing your awkwardness led to a meaningful personal or professional breakthrough? What shifted for you in that experience?
Embracing my awkwardness has helped in every facet of my life. When I think about the hardest I’ve ever laughed with my friends, and I mean laughing until we cry and have stomach pain, it had to do with moments of complete awkwardness and laughing at our imperfect selves. When I think about the moments I felt the most emotional depth with someone, it had to do with each of us expressing things that are quite vulnerable and raw, and holding space for one another. When I think about which relationships I feel most secure in, it’s those who know and accept all of me — awkward parts included.
Many people feel pressure to ‘fit in’ socially. What advice do you have for someone struggling to be their authentic self in a world that often rewards conformity?
The struggle is understandable! We are social beings. We’ve evolved to try to fit in socially for survival purposes. It is part of being human. However, our unique, awkward, and imperfect selves are also a part of our humanity.
Unfortunately, people are sometimes given the message from a young age that they need to choose between their authentic needs and their relationships. In unhealthy family dynamics or friendships, if people are true to themselves, they will lose people. This sad reality often results in people disconnecting from parts of themselves in order to keep primary people giving them love. It is common to find ourselves consistently relating to the world in a similar way. This is often related to attachment — how we attach to people is informed by how we were attached as children.
While the world rewards conformity, there is also a loneliness epidemic. We don’t solve this by being surrounded by people — we can feel lonely in the presence of hundreds. We solve this by feeling understood. We can only feel understood when we are our authentic selves. While this may feel scary, I like to tell my clients that you can feel one way and act another. You can feel vulnerable and uncomfortable being your real self and you can still choose to do so.
How do you think embracing your quirks and imperfections can enhance connections with others, especially in professional or high-pressure settings?
I think this comes down to humility as well. When we are humble, we allow the thought that others may be better at certain things than us. In acknowledging this, we can be more comfortable being vulnerable even in professional and high-power settings. For if we accept that we have quirks and imperfections, we can accept that everyone does. It’s only those people who can share them in vulnerability who can enhance connections. When others feel understood by us, connections are enhanced. Sometimes we can make that first move to make someone comfortable doing the same.
This is the opposite of perfectionism. Perfectionism in a professional setting is self-defeating. It gets projected outward, can appear as self-righteousness, can be irritating, eaves no room for imperfections, and creates a culture where there is a fear of mistakes. It is the opposite of enhancing connections; it drives wedges.
What role does vulnerability play in transforming awkwardness into a superpower? Can you share a time when showing vulnerability opened doors or strengthened relationships?
Vulnerability helps relationships move from feeling transactional to intimate. It can help life feel more meaningful. Think about moments you felt most connected to people. Were these moments wrapped in a bow or were they imperfect, messy, vulnerable, and raw?
In my practice, I model being vulnerable for my clients. Being an imperfect human in the therapeutic relationship creates more safety for them to feel like they can be too. Also, I help clients achieve an increased sense of safety and calm, and this comes from authenticity within our therapeutic relationship. I make sure there is space in the relationship for every single part of the client — awkwardness, imperfections, quirks, everything. When these are welcomed and appreciated, people feel understood. My clients learn to transfer these feelings into their lives and relationships in a confident and empowered way.
