Sonja Stribling of Born to Be Powerful Academy: Why Lowballing Your Prices Exposes You to the Wrong Mindset

As a part of our series about Inspirational Women of the Speaking Circuit, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Dr. Sonja Stribling.

Dr. Sonja Stribling is a retired U.S Army Major and combat veteran. She is a recipient of the Barack Obama Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award, and a former TV Host on Bravo Network. Dr. Sonja has also been featured in USA Today, Forbes, NBC, Fox, and more. With being a licensed clinical counselor turned transformational speaker, she now uses her training & experience to lead thousands to their victory in dominating in their space and use their inner POWER to ascend to their next level in life and business.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?

Well, I grew up in a small town called Wilson, Arkansas, where the population was less than 1000 people. I am the youngest of 12 kids. My mother had me when she was 45 and only had a third-grade education. My father had a second-grade education. With my siblings being 30 years apart, I didn’t grow up with most of my siblings. I felt like an only child. I wasn’t aware that I was living in poverty until I got to college. I had my first child at 15 years old. At 17 years old, I was at the wrong place at the wrong time hanging with friends, when I was sexually violated and left to die. At a young age, I struggled with relationships and finding my focus. Basketball later changed my life and was all I could think about at the time.

Can you share a story with us about what brought you to this specific career path?

Being in the military for 21 years, all I knew was teaching and training. So, I found that I really enjoyed doing that. Once I found what I was passionate about, I wanted to share that with other people by helping them discover themselves. That is how my career path in coaching began. My focus now is on speaking and coaching women who want to build their six and seven-figure businesses. I truly believe that if you know how to lead, you can guide others.

Can you tell us the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?

Well before my career took off, for three years I battled depression. I went through a time when I would take medication just to function. However, once I decided that I wanted to help other women, hearing their testimonies and helping change their lives, made that depressed woman fade away.

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

When I first began, I lowballed my prices. It would be a low price for six weeks of training. The lower the prices the more interesting the clients were. It’s funny to me now, but it wasn’t funny then. The lesson I learned from that was, that starting out with those prices exposed me to a lot of people with a particular mindset that doesn’t always take your effort seriously. Charge people what you are worth and those who are aligned with you will invest. Be elite.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

Years ago, when I first started, Marshawn Evans Daniels, was one of the first coaches that I had to help me build my business and understand the coaching and consulting world. Back then she was the only woman of color in that marketplace. After she transitioned into something different, I got training from Russ Ruffino. Russ helped me understand the online platform, ads, conduct sales, etc. My mother is also a very important person I would like to mention. Though she is not here, she was really the one who told me to pay attention to what was going on in my life. She taught me about owning my power and having resilience. She taught me to stand firm on my beliefs and not to allow people to take advantage of me.

You have been blessed with great success in a career path that can be challenging and intimidating. Do you have any words of advice for others who may want to embark on this career path, but seem daunted by the prospect of failure?

My advice would ask for much-needed help. Getting a mentor and a coach is important. Also, if you really want to be successful, you must put in the work. That starts by being willing to learn. If you don’t know something, sit and listen to learn how it is done. Look through the blind spots.

What drives you to get up every day and give your talks? What is the main empowering message that you aim to share with the world?

When I first started, what helped me get up every day was having to provide for my babies. That was my number one thing. When my children got older and I started to grow, the women I knew that needed to hear my message, inspired me to keep going. Listening to the testimonies from women who I helped inspire, was great motivation. I still get overwhelmed and get emotional because I just think about how I almost didn’t do this. I almost didn’t make it. I did it in my own way. I didn’t want to look like everybody else. My message would be that when you find your purpose, you must fight for it. You never know how things will turn out for you unless you try.

Can you share with our readers a few of your most important tips about how to be an effective and empowering speaker? Can you please share some examples or stories?

I tell people that speaking isn’t always about what we do, but who we are. Those of us that can get in front of people have a gift. I don’t take that for granted. Also, sometimes it doesn’t mean you know everything about the presentation, but do you know your crowd? There are so many presenters that are out there. Do you just want to talk like everyone else? No, you would want to get involved. How do you move a crowd? How do you get them to be involved? Ask a lot of questions. I’ll ask the crowd to share, even if the room is full of thousands of people. I will ask people to get up out of their seats and move. Most people are afraid of that because it makes them uncomfortable with a room full of strangers, but someone will do it. Even if it’s just one. What you do will resonate with someone. One example was when I was speaking in front of about 100 women. I normally have a giveaway or something of that nature at my events and

I remember a woman being in the third row. She jumped over the chair to get what I had in my hand. It was only a piece of paper. That’s it; wasn’t even money. I asked her, why did she do that? She said, whatever you touch, I want to be able to get a hold of. I was taken back for a moment, but she said she has heard presenters before, but I made her feel like I was speaking directly to her. I just know the character of the women and the people that I speak to because I understand their pain. So, when you know your audience and you make it a point to resonate with them, it will set you apart.

As you know, many people are terrified of speaking in public. Can you give some of your advice about how to overcome this fear?

I used to be one of them. I remember being in high school I would get so nervous to speak. Nervous sweats and all. What helped me overcome fear was taking courses and putting myself out there. That gave me more practice. I kept doing lives on periscope. I went from that to doing social media. I started just looking at myself in the camera and being mindful of what I wanted to work on. I later started pretending the camera was a crowd of people listening to me. That helped me build my confidence. It can be scary, but that is a part of speaking. Believe it or not, I’m an introvert. However, I just know that people need to hear what I have to share.

What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why? Please share a story or example for each.

1. Emotional Intelligence- It is going to be the key because there are so many things that happen in our personal lives, and we have to be able to balance and work through it. It is so important when building a business. Doesn’t matter how long you’ve been running it.
2. Understanding your PQ, not your IQ, but your PQ. Which means for your power. Knowing who you are and what you stand for. You must know that not everyone will like you, but that is okay.
3. Don’t be a people pleaser. Learn to say no. People will take advantage of you if you always say yes. I used to be a people pleaser because I didn’t want to be the bad guy. However, to be a leader you must make hard decisions. Abraham Lincoln said, once you don’t decide if you’re a great leader, your followers do. And I have stuck with that.
4. Brand integrity- knowing your niche demographic.
5. Don’t be intimidated. It can get overwhelming, but you must persevere. Stay focused and don’t make excuses for yourself.

You have such impressive work. What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? Where do you see yourself heading from here?

I have an upcoming book that I believe is going to change the game for women who really want to win in life. It touches on business and even relationships. My book will help women be powerful in their careers, how to have prestige, how to set themselves apart and get to a level of profit.

Every time I think about where I’m headed, I get emotional because I dream big and sometimes it scares me. I see myself in a room speaking to 10,000 people. I see myself as a more impactful speaker and New York Times bestseller. I manifest a training center for veteran and non-veteran women I can train to be successful in business. Hopefully, one day host live workshops with women millionaires and take them through the ideology of power, prestige, and profits.

Can you share with our readers any self-care routines, practices or treatments that you do to help your body, mind or heart to thrive? Please share a story for each one if you can.

I’m still working on this, but a very important thing to be mindful of is taking time for yourself. No working. I take at least 2 or 3 hours of my day to just rest my mind. Also, take a self-care day at least once or twice a month. I like to get a manicure, scroll on TikTok for a nice laugh, go to the beach, and sometimes I go sit in a hotel and relax or work from there. There are so many things I like to do just for me to enjoy myself. However, I truly enjoy time with my family. My boys are now all grown up so sometimes it is hard getting everyone together. So, whenever we can, I cherish it. I’m also engaged to be married, so I’m super excited about that. I believe God knew who to send me and I’m looking forward to the next level.

There are also a couple of things that I pride myself on. I always pay attention to my energy. I don’t mean just being tired, I mean when things just happen in life. For instance, if I feel a little sad, I take a moment and acknowledge my feelings. What’s pulling from me? Oh, I just read a message that affected me negatively or I dealt with someone who offended me. However, because I am aware of it, I can process it in a healthy way so I t doesn’t affect my work. I used to struggle with depression and allowing myself time to relax and/or process things improves my mental health. I went from a worried woman to a wealthy woman. I don’t remember too well what depression feels like, but I know I don’t want to go back. It’s not realistic to always stay positive, but how you process those negative emotions is the key.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

Helen Keller said, “the only thing worse than being blind is having sight, but no vision.” That has stuck with me for probably the last 30 years. What that means is many of us are blessed with sight, but we don’t always have a vision for what we want in our lives. Even though she is blind, she still saw her purpose and that’s better than not knowing what your purpose is at all. That has stuck with me and led me to strive for my dreams and aspirations.

You are a person of huge influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

It would still be emotional intelligence. I can’t get away from that at all. Again, just going through depression, really made me think about what it is that I wanted in my life. When you are emotionally aware you are able to grow and adjust to all the things life throws at you. The more we are aware of ourselves the more we can become better people, better friends, clients, students, etc. It’s not an easy task. I’m not even saying it’s easy for me, but I’ve gotten to a place where I have mastered the art of knowing what to do when it happens. If you can master your emotional intelligence, it can benefit you financially as well. More money will come when you are in tune with yourself. That would be my movement, aiding people with their emotional intelligence to help tap into their abundance.

Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!

That’s easy. Way too easy. That person would be Oprah. I see us sitting down and having a conversation over tea and coffee. She is an inspirational person to me because I admire all she has overcome and how she handles it with resilience and grace. I’ve lived my whole life watching her. To this day, if something throws me off, I ask myself what would Oprah do? I have a legacy to build, I can’t allow myself to go low. If I could be in her presence, I know I have earned it. I have earned the right to learn from her. I would have so many questions to ask and just tell her thank you! I would probably cry if she saw this.

Are you on social media? How can our readers follow you online?

Yes, I am on social media. You can follow me at IamDrSonja on all social media platforms.

This was so informative, thank you so much! We wish you continued success!