Alysia Steinmann: Resilience Requires Fostering Inclusive Environments Both at Work and at Home

Families with children on the Autism Spectrum face unique challenges and experiences. Each family’s journey is different, filled with both struggles and triumphs. We want to share their stories, insights, and advice to help and inspire other families going through similar experiences. As part of this interview series, we had the pleasure to interview Alysia Steinmann.

Alysia Steinmann is the Office Managing Partner for the Metro New York City office of Ernst & Young LLP (EY US). She leads the EY US member firm’s headquarters and largest office in New York City, as well as the offices in Hoboken, New Jersey and two wavespace™ locations in Manhattan. Alysia serves approximately 15,000 New York City-area professionals in fostering a culture of belonging among our people while providing excellent client service to clients throughout the tri-state area.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your background and your childhood backstory?

Growing up in a large family, I learned early on about the importance of support and independence. My twin sister and I were always like second mothers to our younger siblings, a role that became even more significant after the tragic loss of our brother when we were children. This experience shaped my approach to life, instilling in me a determination to care for those I love and to face challenges head-on. My journey took me from suburban Philadelphia all the way to the heart of public accounting in New York City, where I found my calling in the dynamic, team-oriented environment of EY.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

One quote that has always resonated with me is Michael Jordan’s “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” It’s a reminder that taking chances is essential, whether advocating for my children’s needs or pursuing my professional goals. This philosophy has guided me through the complexities of navigating life as a mom of two kids with autism, encouraging me to seek out the best for my sons and never shy away from asking for support or services that can enhance their development.

Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Can you share with us the moment you realized your child might have ASD?

My journey with autism began with Leo, my first son. After a healthy pregnancy, it wasn’t until Leo was over a year old that I noticed some concerning signs. His lack of speech, difficulty with spatial awareness, and other behaviors hinted at something more. I had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right, and it was this mother’s intuition that led me to seek evaluation despite reassurances from some doctors that “boys are just delayed.” Finally hearing Leo’s diagnosis was one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced, but it was also the start of our journey toward understanding and support.

With my second son, Oliver, the knowledge and experience I gained from Leo’s journey was so crucial because I was able to recognize the signs much sooner. From the moment I observed that Oliver was engaging in limited verbal communication and certain behavioral patterns as a toddler, I was undeterred and knew to spring into action immediately. Given everything I’d learned, I pursued an early evaluation for Oliver because of the profound impact that early intervention can have for kids with autism.

What unique approaches have you developed to support your child’s communication and social interaction skills within your family and community?

For Leo, who is nonverbal, I’ve found ways to help him express his needs and feelings, like using an iPad with apps that empower him to communicate more fully. Visual calendars and social stories, which are short descriptions of a particular situation, event, or activity, have been invaluable for both Leo and Oliver, helping them understand and prepare for changes in routine. It’s about finding what works for each child and adapting our strategies to support their unique ways of interacting with the world.

How do you navigate the challenges of creating an inclusive environment at home that accommodates the diverse needs of each family member?

Ensuring our home accommodates the diverse needs of our family means fostering a sense of understanding and protection between the boys. Despite their different challenges, I encourage them to connect, share meals, and look out for each other. It’s about creating a space where everyone feels valued and supported, no matter their abilities. Both boys have varied sensory needs and different verbal capabilities, and their respective schools equip them with the skills they need to thrive at home.

Can you describe a moment when you saw significant progress in your child’s development, and what strategies or interventions led to that breakthrough?

Seeing my children make strides in their development, whether it’s Leo learning new life skills with his classmates or Oliver learning to ride a bike alongside me, fills me with immense pride. These moments are not just milestones; they’re a testament to their resilience and the effectiveness of the services and support systems we’ve fought to put in place. They remind me of the power of perseverance and the importance of celebrating every achievement, no matter how small. A particularly significant breakthrough was when both boys learned to swim, a skill that not only provides safety and joy but also a sense of accomplishment and independence.

How do you prepare your child for changes in routine or new experiences, and what has been most effective in reducing anxiety during these transitions?

Navigating changes in routine and new experiences is all about preparation and communication. Visual calendars, social stories, and familiarizing them with new environments ahead of time have proven to be effective strategies. For example, before the boys went to summer camp, their schools created a social story with pictures of the camp, including images of Leo and Oliver engaging in camp activities, which helped reduce their anxiety and made the transition smoother.

What resources or support systems have been most valuable for your family in managing the daily realities of living with autism spectrum disorder?

The support systems that have been invaluable to us include the schools that cater to each of my sons’ needs, the dedicated therapists, and the community of other parents navigating similar paths. The advice and shared experiences from other moms, in particular, have been a source of strength and guidance. Additionally, the support I’ve gained at work from colleagues who have had similar experiences has been instrumental in managing the daily realities of being a mom of kids who are living with autism.

What are your “Top 5 Strategies to Navigate Life With a Child With ASD”?

My family’s journey with my boys has taught me several key strategies:

1. Lean in and be fiercely present.
2. Advocate tirelessly for your children, ensuring they receive all the necessary support.
3. Recognize when to ask for help, and don’t hesitate to reach out.
4. Be specific about the support you need, as clarity helps others provide the best assistance.
5. Prioritize your well-being, as a healthy and balanced parent is essential for your child’s growth and happiness.

What role does self-care play for you as a parent in maintaining balance and resilience while supporting your child with ASD?

For me, running is not just exercise; it’s a form of meditation, a way to reset and recharge. It’s crucial to find that activity that grounds you, allowing you to maintain balance and resilience. Whether it’s spending time with friends or enjoying a moment of quiet, these acts of self-care are vital. They enable me to face each day with renewed strength and focus.

Despite the challenges, families often find moments of triumph and resilience. Can you share a particularly proud moment or a breakthrough that your family has experienced in this journey?

Among my proudest moments are witnessing my children’s achievements and seeing the impact of my advocacy work. The true reward comes from knowing I’m making a difference, not just for my sons but for all children with autism. It’s about fighting for a world that understands and embraces neurodiversity, ensuring every child has the opportunity to thrive.

Are there any books, podcasts, or other resources that have helped you understand or manage your condition better?

While I don’t lean on any specific resources outside of the amazing friends, family members, and professionals I’ve mentioned, I find great value in seeking out diverse perspectives and stories, whether I’m listening to a podcast or connecting with a fellow disabilities advocate. Fresh viewpoints enrich my understanding of the world and my capacity for patience, helping me appreciate the strengths in everyone’s differences.

We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. :-)

Because I’m insatiably curious about neurodivergent people and equity around neurodivergence, I’d love to sit down with Elon Musk or Richard Branson. Musk is engaged in so much important research on neural implants, with the intention of one day helping to cure conditions like autism, dementia, and Alzheimer’s. I’d just love to pick his brain on how the project is going and how it all works.

And Branson’s success as someone with dyslexia is such an inspiring testament to what’s possible for my boys and millions of neurodivergent children just like them.

Both figures have demonstrated innovative thinking and garnered achievements that give me hope for a future where the unique talents of individuals with autism are recognized and valued. Their journeys inspire me to continue advocating for a world where being different is not just accepted but celebrated.

How can our readers further follow your work online?

Readers can follow my journey through social media (Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn) and through my advocacy work as a board member with the New York City Workforce Development Board and as an Advisory Council member with Mayor Eric Adams’ recently launched Center for Workplace Accessibility and Inclusion, as well as through my board roles with the NYC Autism Charter Schools and Achilles International.

Thank you for your time and thoughtful answers. I know many people will gain so much from hearing this.

About the Interviewer: Dr. Kate Lund is a licensed clinical psychologist, podcast host, best-selling author and Tedx Speaker. The power of resilience in extraordinary circumstances kept her thriving as a child. Dr. Lund now helps entrepreneurs, executives, parents, and athletes to see the possibility on the other side of struggle and move towards potential. Her goal is to help each person she works with to overcome their unique challenges and thrive within their own unique context.