Mehran Assadi of National Life Group: How Embracing Discomfort and Rejecting Complacency Drives Massive Personal and Professional Growth

It feels most comfortable to stick with what we are familiar with. But anyone who has achieved great success will tell you that true growth comes from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. What are some ways that influential people have pushed themselves out of their comfort zone to grow both personally and professionally? As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Mehran Assadi.

Mehran Assadi is Chairman, CEO and President of National Life Group, a Fortune 1000 insurance company that serves Middle America through life insurance and annuities and also through community service, philanthropy and cultivating a culture that prioritizes the health and wellbeing of its employees. At 17 years old, Mehran came to the U.S. from Iran where he had to learn new customs, form new relationships and acquire new skills, including personal financial literacy. That experience greatly pushed him outside his comfort zone and made him the lifelong learner that he is today.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

I was born in Iran and grew up in the capital of Tehran with two sisters and one brother and my parents, both of whom I admire greatly and who really shaped who I am today. I spent the first 17 years of my life in Iran, then immigrated to the United States with the intention of visiting family to see if I want to stay long term. When I came to the U.S. I didn’t speak English, but my visit turned out to be a longer stay than I expected, so I stayed and finished high school in the U.S. That first year was like a twilight zone learning a new language, new culture, and new systems. When I arrived, my cousin picked me up from the airport, and we got back to Baltimore after midnight. The next morning, he woke me up 7:00 saying “Hey, we’re going to work.” I said “What do you mean going to work? I came here to visit with you and to see you.” He said “Everybody works here. Let’s go.” So, within the first 18 hours of setting foot in this country, I was actually working: washing dishes, cleaning the restaurant, every part of it. If somebody threw up in the bathroom, I was the guy who cleaned it up.

I came with the idea that if I liked it here, I would stay. It was a site visit to get the lay of the land. It began as a temporary commitment and became a long-term commitment because life happens, right? While I was here, there was political unrest at home which began a period of change and uncertainty. I attended my senior year of high school and decided to go to college then attend graduate school and start my professional life as a software developer within the financial services business in the United States.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

One of my favorite quotes is my dad’s quote: “Learning ends the day you die.” That’s one of the reasons I’m a lifetime learner. I heard that from my dad when I was seven years old and it has stuck with me to this day.

My second favorite quote is from Rumi: “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” I like that one because we as human beings are never a finished product. And we always have ambitions of changing others and changing the world, but any significant change really starts with us. There is authenticity that translates to people when they see the best version of you, which inspires them to be the best version of themselves. It’s like a movement; it has to start with you and then it becomes contagious.

Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

I can actually go in eighteen different directions with this question and the answer I’m going to give you may actually surprise you; it may not be a very orthodox answer. So, one of my favorite movies is Gladiator. I’m sure you’re going to say, “Where did that come from and why?” It is a movie that can be perceived as violent because it was the old Roman empire, but at the heart of the story, there is a message of leadership and servant leadership and authenticity in terms of connecting with people: being a role model and creating a following and commitment where you are not being a situational leader. You are staying true to who you are as a leader. The trust that has been placed in you to rise above it all and stay true to who you are as a leader makes it a great movie. It is well done. I have probably watched it 11 times. When you get to the heart of the movie, it is really all about leadership.

The Gladiator, who was a general in the Roman army, basically lays down his life for what is right versus wrong. He dies for what is right, responding to a higher calling and a higher cause. He is so effective; even the people who ultimately end up plotting to kill him saluted his authenticity and his staying true to what is right.

As a leader you have got to make the right decisions, you have got to do the right things always, no matter what. So, in one situation you cannot be authentic and, in another situation, not. As a leader, you have got to be a person of character. You have got to make the right decisions always versus what is right for me now.

Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does “getting outside of your comfort zone” mean?

I believe, if your dreams don’t scare the hell out of you, they are not big enough. To me it means pursuing opportunities, goals, and change that doesn’t come to you comfortably and normally. I am someone who believes all things are possible when you are willing to work hard for it and when you are willing to surround yourself with talented people who are smarter and wiser than you in order to pursue what seems unachievable in life. It drives me when somebody says, “you can’t do this” or “it has never been done.” To me that’s a call to action. I am motivated to pursue what seems to be unachievable and it’s not comfortable. I love living in discomfort. My definition of comfort is being complacent. I don’t want to be complacent as a son, as a husband, as a father and head coach of this organization.

My parents put great emphasis on education with their children. As a 17-year-old in the U.S. I was told by a roommate that no one was going to give an opportunity in corporate America for an immigrant to succeed. So, that became my call to action. The advice I got from that same roommate was “Why are you spending so much energy on going to school versus starting a business? Nobody is going to give an immigrant an opportunity in corporate America.” The conventional path for an immigrant in America at that time was to open a restaurant or to pursue success in the service industry.

What I really wanted to be a physician. So, in my first year in the U.S. I met with a medical college admissions person, and he told me seats in that program were preferred for American citizens versus people who are from other countries. At the time I thought, I’m not going to waste my life on this if they are not going to give me a real chance. Now, with hindsight: I was young, I was too much of a kid and not getting good advice to say, “Screw that guy. You just pursue. And if that’s what you want to do you will find a way.” I just didn’t understand, and I did not know there were multiple avenues to go for that degree because as a new immigrant from another country with a totally different culture, different language, that first year was like a fog. You are on this track, and you are running as hard as you can and it is all like a twilight zone. There is so much coming at you all at once. Now I take messages like that as a personal challenge, and I rise up to meet them.

Can you help articulate a few reasons why it is important to get out of your comfort zone?

In order to achieve your potential as a person, you absolutely have to get outside of your comfort zone. In order to achieve what seems unachievable, you have to get outside of your comfort zone. Developing big dreams requires creativity, which is sparked by discomfort. I also believe human beings were put on the face of the earth to contribute to communities, to the lives of other human beings, to be part of the solution and you cannot do that unless you get outside of your comfort zone. Comfort equals complacency in my mind. It is not so much about competition; it is about contribution.

The way I was raised, the way I think about being on the face of the earth is that we as human beings are part of a bigger body. There’s a bigger element, bigger calling for every human being. And as human beings who are part of this larger body, everybody has to do their piece to be a part of the solution and move things forward versus benefitting from the hard work of others.

My dad was a huge fan of Persian literature. At one point, he had memorized a thousand poems. When you are around that level of poetry and spirituality — not in the sense of religious beliefs but in terms of doing the right things and living the right way and being part of the solution — it becomes a part of you. There is an old Persian poem by Sa dī that talks about human beings as part of a larger body and when one part of the body falls, it hurts the entire body. That is one of the reasons why you need to be part of the bigger solution and do your part, which means getting out of your comfort zone to contribute in a bigger way to humanity and the communities you are a part of.

I have a philosophy about life and that foundation was built by my parents; not because they told me, I purely witnessed and watched. So, when people ask me who are your role models as far as leadership is concerned, my answer is very simple and nothing fancy: I say it is my mom and dad. My mother in her own right was a leader because of what she did as a woman in Iran in advocating for equality and women’s rights. My dad was a leader within the platform that he operated and how he built camaraderie and commitment in doing the right things and staying true to who he was as a leader.

Is it possible to grow without leaving your comfort zone? Can you explain what you mean?

You can grow without leaving your comfort zone, however that growth will be incremental and not as significant; you can never leapfrog. The way I think about it is as you go through the journey of learning, accomplishments, and contributions there are periods in that journey where the growth is not incremental; it peaks and leapfrogs. So, for me, I think one of those leapfrog opportunities was when I was in my early 30s. I was always one of those guys who raised their hand for new opportunities and challenges. Every 18 months I was doing something different. There are times within your journey where our learning opportunity peaks, and you grow at a different pace and trajectory because of the foundation you have created and how you have developed as a human being, where those opportunities are on a different trajectory and at a different pace.

Can you share some anecdotes from your personal experience? Can you share a story about a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone and how it helped you grow? How does it feel to take those first difficult steps?

In 1991, I was elected to be part of a task force: the Financial Reality Task Force. I was one of five individuals asked to focus on restructuring the company I was part of, which was failing at that time. We were two weeks away from not making the payroll. I was the only guy from the technology-side of the organization who was assigned to this group of five. Every person in that group was senior to me; they held significant positions in the company. I was also the youngest person on that team. Being in the presence of that group was a bit intimidating because of being the most junior person. It was very much like going through an MBA program. I had a chance not only to work on that task force, but I also had a chance to work with consulting companies like McKinsey for a period of 18 months. I consider that my transition point from a technologist to a business leader because I learned how the balance sheet and economics of business works.

The job of the task force was to make strategy recommendations to the CEO and the Board of Directors in restructuring the failing company. The team was made up of people with different expertise, however the uniqueness of this team was that we were asked to analyze and make recommendations enterprise-wide outside of our areas of expertise. We had to step into a place of significant discomfort because the livelihood of 14,000 associates and the future of a one-hundred-year-old company was tied to the recommendations we were making. We ultimately survived: the recommendations were implemented, and the company moved forward. The restructure of the company worked.

Here is the central question of our discussion. What are your “five ways to push past your comfort zone, to grow both personally and professionally”?

Instead of five ways I’m going to give you seven ways, which starts with being vulnerable by committing to a regular personal assessment and always pushing yourself to get outside your comfort zone. I start every week with a personal assessment I call the “7 Cs” of leadership: Comprehension, Competency, Confidence, Conviction, Courage, Communication and Character, which I learned from a mentor who was the CEO of my first job. Every Sunday morning, I challenge myself to reflect on my own performance of the week prior against each of these concepts. It is a critical assessment designed to push myself beyond my comfort zone that covers all areas of my life, professional and personal. It is an ongoing and continuous process. When you look at the definition of each of the 7 Cs, each tie nicely to every element that pushes a person outside of their comfort zone.

Comprehension is needed in order to effectively anticipate change and react decisively. Competency means to have a knowledge base in order to lead from comprehension. Confidence is gained through the development of competency. Conviction is doing the right thing; not just making the right decision. Courage means taking personal risk to transform decisions into reality. Communication should be used to motivate people and make things happen through people; it also involves affording the person the dignity by communicating in words they understand. Character involves developing a level of trust and a sense of ethics; not playing situation ethics; doing the right thing; and being worthy of the trust placed in you.

I also recognize leaders within my own company who embody each of these qualities and hand out awards annually. That is how important this practice is to me. That is how much I believe in the value of these concepts. I am the head coach of a wonderful national company that is getting ready to celebrate its 175th anniversary. We have a big mission of serving the underserved, of being part of the solution and really getting involved in the communities where we do business. Our motto is: Do good, Be good, and Make good. We live that in everything we do.

So, if you want to push past your comfort zone, you have to be honest with yourself about how you are measuring up to your highest standards. By doing this weekly, I have a baseline of where I’m starting and that way my goals are always growing.

From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that keep someone from pushing out of their comfort zone?

Fear of failure. Sometimes you learn more from failure versus success, in my opinion. But the fear is powerful because you don’t want to be viewed as someone who couldn’t get it done you are left asking yourself: was I smart enough, was I capable enough? It’s all about vulnerability. Are you willing to give it all you got? When you give it all you got and you succeed, that’s the best and if you don’t succeed, it’s not because of a lack of commitment.

I think in today’s environment a lot of people don’t want to challenge themselves and put themselves outside their comfort zone because it’s like, why would I do that to myself?

There is a well-known quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that says, “Do something that scares you every day”. What exactly does this mean to you? Is there inherent value in doing something that pushes you out of your comfort zone, even if it does not relate to personal or professional growth? For example, if one is uncomfortable about walking alone at night should they purposely push themselves to do it often for the sake of going beyond their comfort zone? Can you please explain what you mean?

I don’t know about walking at night alone because you are uncomfortable in the dark. I do believe that you have to put yourself in situations where it feels uncomfortable and learn how to cope and deal with uncomfortable situations.

This relates to my answer to the prior question. Because a person should not do something scary just for the sake of doing something scary. The first thing is that a person needs to know themselves honestly. When we are honest about who we are, then we know what are the right risks to take. You have got to put yourself in situations that feel uncomfortable, but one size does not fit all when it comes to pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. It is a process. Doing something dangerous — like walking alone at night — is not smart. Developing a sense of who you are and what is holding you back will show you which risks to take in order to grow both professionally and personally.

The level of tolerance for discomfort is different for different people because we are all wired differently. Therefore, what feels uncomfortable for me may not feel uncomfortable for you. We need to know our own limitations and make a decision about what that uncomfortable situation means individually.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

I am a huge advocate of financial literacy, which has a significant impact on the lives of many and is not as well tapped an opportunity to contribute as it could be.

One of the reasons I’m passionate about our business and have tremendous commitment to what we do is because one of the main pillars of what we do is financial literacy, creating easy to access education, information sharing. To me, the whole concept is always about access. Are we reaching enough people to share our message and knowledge in order to give them choices?

There are so many people in this country who are underinsured or who do not have any insurance at all. That drives our mission to reach those to help them take care of their families, grow generational wealth, to save and to bring peace of mind to everyone we touch.

My story at National Life is that I turned a 90-day consulting gig into a 20-year career. The reason I stay here is because of the value and the purpose we serve as a company and the opportunities we have in front of us to be cause-driven and purposeful.

Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!

Warren Buffet. He has a practical mind and practical solutions. He has such optimism about what this country is all about and such a positive attitude combined with gratitude. I would love to know where that comes from.

How can our readers follow you online?

Mehran Assadi | LinkedIn

Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!

About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.