Alexis Williams of Aloha Glamour: Rising Through Resilience; Five Things You Can Do To Become More Resilient

In this interview series, we are exploring the subject of resilience among successful business leaders. Resilience is one characteristic that many successful leaders share in common, and in many cases, it is the most important trait necessary to survive and thrive in today’s complex market.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Alexis L. Williams.

Alexis L. Williams is a mother to Kaileb, Laila, and Lauren Williams. She is a retired Air Force Veteran, Serial Entrepreneur, and Community Leader. Having recently been a recipient of BeyGood’s Business Grant and listed as a Top Mississippi Business to know on Oprah.com, she is a force and is making her own way with her one of a kind Afro-waiian Clothing Brand.

Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your backstory?

Absolutely! My name is Alexis Williams, I am from Gulfport, MS and I am the owner and founder of Aloha Glamour, an African + Hawaiian (Afrowaiian) inspired clothing boutique located in Gulfport, MS. I am an Iraqi and Afghanistan War Veteran. I served 17 years, 6 months, 4 days, 10 hours, and 32 seconds in The United States Air Force and I retired at the age of 35. I am the mother of three. Kaileb Williams, 17. Laila Williams, 15, and Lauren Taylor, angel baby.

Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take a ways’ you learned from that?

The most interesting story from my career was moving from Hawaii to Mississippi after the loss of my daughter in 2016. I was actively grieving as I had lost my daughter 3 months prior and here I was having to continue to show up in life as my kids needed me and The Air Force wanted a soldier. Here I was needing to grieve my loss and I wasn’t ALLOWED to. My career spiraled out of control from there.

What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?

My company is a mixture of the African and Hawaiian Culture, we offer one size fits most clothing for bold woman whose weight fluctuates. No matter if you lose or gain weight, your clothing will still fit. The story behind the Afrowaiian Clothing Brand starts with the name: Lauren Taylor Williams. I was stationed in Hawaii, married to my now ex-husband, and 7 months pregnant with Lauren Taylor (the name sounds like a brand, right). Unfortunately, she was born and died on November 6, 2015. She was my African Hawaiian Princess and it was important to me that my brand reflected who she is and what she brought to my life.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?

Yes, Ebony Howell. There would not be an Aloha Glamour without her. She was my strength as I was going through dealing with the loss of my child. She stayed with me at the hospital every night, for 5 nights straight. She moved into my home to ensure my children were safe and fed as I rejected life. She planned the memorial service and she pushed me to channel the hurt and pain of losing Lauren into something positive. She is the sole reason why the Hawaiian element was the foundation of the brand. There is no amount of money or words that I can eloquently say that will express the magnitude of respect and honor I have for her.

Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the trait of resilience. How would you define resilience? What do you believe are the characteristics or traits of resilient people?

My definition of resilience is knowing you are the only person who can save you. The power and responsibility to pick yourself up relies solely on YOU. I believe the characteristics and traits of resilient people include but are not limited to challenging your thinking — when you are going through something or facing an obstacle…you can talk yourself out of not accomplishing what it is that you set out to accomplish in the first place. Acknowledging the trauma or life altering experience — and being okay with never getting an apology from who wronged you. Seek treatment — if we can go to the gym to get our body right, it is okay to talk to someone to help us get our mind right and help navigate and tackle those limiting beliefs that are holding us back.

When you think of resilience, which person comes to mind? Can you explain why you chose that person?

This is too easy. Michelle Obama. The amount of criticism she dealt with by being The First Lady of the United States was unfair. Not only was she the first lady, but she was raising young girls as well. She embodied “the rich auntie” vibes. You know the one that is poised, witty, graceful, rich…and would pull you into a room to cuss you out privately. She never lost her composure. She remained humble and exercised grace, even when that common courtesy was not extended to her.

Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us?

Yes, they told me that I was not going to be able to have a successful business called Aloha Glamour being a black girl from Mississippi. They also told me that it’s hard to sell clothing, especially colorful clothes that stand out in the south. I had to quickly realize that I could not listen to them as I didn’t need to convince them to act on a vision that God gave me. It wasn’t a group chat when God and I had the conversation on starting. They REALLY thought I was crazy when I launched my Fashion Accessories Vending Machine. It comes a time when you have to just bet on yourself! God isn’t giving you these ideas and visions for nothing, so I acted on them. No matter how crazy they seemed.

Did you have a time in your life where you had one of your greatest setbacks, but you bounced back from it stronger than ever? Can you share that story with us?

The greatest set back in my life involves the death of my daughter and how it affected my military career. I always thought that I would retire from the military after honorably serving 20 years. However, the Air Force saw fit that we should end our relationship after 17 years, 6 months, 4 days, 23 hours, and 42 minutes. Within in four months of being medically discharged, I had a celebrity reach out to me for styling services, my business revenue jumped to over $120K in one month, I was featured in Forbes, GQ, Allure.com, CNN, Travel + Noire and 30 other international publications.

Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Can you share a story?

I don’t have any experiences growing up that contributed to me building my resiliency. My childhood was fairly normal.

Resilience is like a muscle that can be strengthened. In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone can take to become more resilient? Please share a story or an example for each.

1. Stop looking back! You are not going that way. When the United States Air Force decided to part ways, I fought it! I did not want to get out and was trying to figure out HOW I could just make it to my 20-year mark. It wasn’t until I stopped looking back at how the Air Force was treating me and started looking forward to what my life would look like once I got out.
2. Process the Pain. We’ve all been through something traumatic! You have to process the pain before you are able to move on. The pain started when I found out I was 5 months pregnant and I found out my then husband had been cheating on me the ENTIRE time we were married. Ultimately, I ended up losing my daughter due to the stress of my personal life and my military life, while I was stationed in Hawaii. I had to process the pain of finding out that my husband, who I married for the SECOND time, was still up to the same ole’ BS he was up to when we married the first time…9 years prior.
3. Get uncomfortable! This goes back to me being medically retired from The United States Air Force. I was not comfortable with being let go because I had been in the Air Force since I graduated. You heard right, I left for basic training exactly 12 hours after graduating from High School. The Air Force was all I knew and they were taking it away from me. I was uncomfortable with the unknown. But it was the unknown, the uncomfortableness that birthed my greatness. I HAD to figure it out! You must have GRIT!
4. Share your story! There is power and healing when you share your story. I personally thought that the story of losing my daughter was too ‘raw’. I thought no one wanted to hear about me losing a daughter. It wasn’t until I shared my story that other women felt comfortable enough to share their loss with me because they “weren’t the only one”. They weren’t the only one who had to silently live with the pain of losing a child. I quickly realized that there were people out there waiting to hear my story so they could get through whatever it is they are going through. Share your story. Someone is waiting to hear YOUR story so THEY can heal. So, they can say, “If she can do it, I can too!” Share your story sis.
5. Trust God. They say God doesn’t put more on you than you can bare. In response I usually say, “I wish he didn’t trust me as much.” It was by God’s grace that I made it out of the darkest time of my life. While I was going through I was absolutely ANGRY with God. I voiced my concerns with him LOUDLY and BOLDLY. I truly had a love hate relationship with him. I blamed God for taking my daughter. Until, I heard his voice. He gave his ONLY begotten son. He knows EXACTLY what I feel. God is not a God of confusion. I found the lesson in my loss. My spirit was loss but now it is found. Trust in God.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-).

It is ironic that you mention that as I have been called a local influencer many times within the past three years. When I started Aloha Glamour in Mississippi, I couldn’t find my ideal client. Here I was with this African brand but had no idea how to connect with my people. So, when I started Aloha Glamour I also launched The Mississippi Gulf Coast Black Owned Business Network on FB. I figured if I had a hard time finding people, so did other black owned businesses. By the end of our first year we had over 2.5K business owners and consumers in the group. This allowed us to be intentional about supporting black owned businesses that do-good business in our local area. Due to the local response I decided to take the concept a step further and founded and self-funded The Mississippi Gulf Coast Black Owned Business Awards Gala. We were able to highlight over 50 local black owned businesses as well as award one business out of each category of 28. Our gala continues to grow every year. Having organically creating a community of business owners and consumers I became the go to for corporations and other businesses who want to do business in our community…so much so that I was gifted The Gulfport/Biloxi Black Chamber of Commerce, which I will be launching quarter 3. In April, I will be launching The Mississippi Gulf Coast Village- A 9,000 sq. foot co-working space — The first African American Co-Working space in the city of Gulfport. I have a few more projects up my sleeve so stay tuned.

We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them :-)

I would absolutely LOVE to have a private breakfast or lunch with Tyler Perry as he’s friends with Oprah so he might bring her along too. LOL. In all seriousness, I would like to sit down with Mr. Perry because I feel like we are similar in more ways than one. He started doing plays and didn’t sell out initially. I started selling Afrowaiian clothing and everyone looked at me crazy. It didn’t stop me, just like him — he didn’t stop. Just as he was about to throw it all in God said, “Aht! Aht! — I got this!” He blew up. I sort of kind of blew up at the beginning of COVID. I feel like he has good energy, she speaks from the heart, and he’s funny. He’s a giver, so am I. I feel like he’s an empath with a pinch of hood! (He is from New Orleans you know — it’s only an hour away from where I’m from) I want to know how he balances it all — giving to others so freely yet dealing with hypocrisy of those who aren’t doing nearly as much as he.

How can our readers follow you on social media? Your readers can find me at:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/alohaglamour

Facebook: www.facebook.com/alohaglamour

Twitter: www.twitter.com/alohaglamour1

Website: www.alohaglamour.shop

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!