Tasha Reign: How Embracing Radical Authenticity and Overcoming Judgment Fosters Personal and Professional Success

Being vulnerable and authentic are some of today’s popular buzzwords. It may seem counterintuitive to be vulnerable, as many of us have been taught to project an air of confidence, be a boss, and act like we know everything. In Brene Brown’s words, “vulnerability takes courage.” So is vulnerability a strength or a weakness? Can someone be authentic without being vulnerable? How can being authentic and vulnerable help someone grow both personally and professionally? In this interview series, we are talking to business leaders, mental health professionals and business and life coaches who can share stories and examples of “How Authenticity and Vulnerability Pay Off and Help You Win Personally and Professionally.” As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Tasha Reign.

Tasha Reign is an entrepreneur, entertainer, and author of “From Princess to Pornstar.” She is a mother first, and a trailblazing advocate for women in the entertainment industry. Recently, she debuted her new boutique, Fairytale Cottage Topanga, located in Topanga Canyon, California featuring a selection of homeware, women’s clothing, children’s clothing, and unique one-of-a-kind finds.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

I grew up in beautiful Laguna Beach, California. I had a big, blended family — both of my parents were married and divorced a handful of times, blessing me with half-siblings. Overall though, I really enjoyed my childhood. It was extremely special because of “Laguna Beach,” — if you’ve watched the show, you’d know it’s a really magical high school and childhood experience. Growing up in a small town anywhere is, but especially by the beach because it was so fun to be able to spend all seasons laying out, hanging out with friends and just having a true beach culture.

Being able to participate in “Laguna Beach,” the iconic MTV show, during its last season was very memorable. It was fun to be able to bond with my friends and to be in front of a camera to have a taste of what working in entertainment would be like. By the time I had moved to Los Angeles, I knew that I wanted to be in front of a camera and I pursued my dream of being a Playboy centerfold as soon as I was able to. No, like really… as soon as I turned 18.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

“Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” — Dr. Seuss

One of my favorite quotes… I just couldn’t agree with it more! We all suffer a little from caring too much. It’s not as if I’m completely disengaged from caring, I just know that I care a lot less. And for that, I believe I am more successful because I’m able to realize that opinions don’t really matter. We’re all so caught up in being afraid of what people might think of you, but it’s really the people that matter in your life who will accept you for you.

They might not accept you right at the moment, and you might do something in your career, even in your family life, whatever it is that people are gonna judge you for, they might not like it and they might disown you, but the people that matter will come back, you know? So don’t let yourself be held back by what your family and your friends are going to think of you. Although in a lot of ways I don’t have a traditional situation, both of my parents are deceased and my dad died at a very young age, so I was able to take risks that, to be honest, I might not have taken if he was alive. So it is circumstantial but I think that people can learn from that because they can still realize that although other people’s opinions matter to a certain extent, the most important person is you. You are the most important person in your life, in your story.

Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

Yes, I would definitely say that the “Girls Next Door” on E! had a huge impact on my life. I feel like it really resonated with me that the cast was so beautiful– I loved that their entire life revolved around socializing with other girls and having baby animals. That lifestyle just spoke to my heart. Like, the aesthetic, the parties, and the freedom, I feel like it was everything I was interested in in high school and saw what I wanted in life to pursue.

On a deeper level, I loved the independence that was conveyed. It’s not necessarily factual now that we have like all the backstory and Holly Madison has come out and spoken out against Hugh Hefner and the brand. As a society, we understand it’s a complex, nuanced topic, but at that time in my life, I really loved that Holly was able to take control and be a producer for other center-folds and just be able to be an entrepreneur. And I’ve always had an entrepreneurial spirit, and I still do. It’s something that I was born with and it really resonated with me.

Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s begin with a definition of terms so that each of us and our readers are on the same page. What exactly does being authentic mean?

Authenticity to me is living in YOUR truth. It’s when what you say lines up with what you believe, and more importantly what you do. I feel like I can say that from an experience standpoint, I’ve many times done things that I maybe don’t agree with and then afterward have felt a certain way about it. That’s probably why it’s so important to me to be authentic because if you’re not doing this, the only person you’re letting down is yourself. It’s really freeing when you can speak about what you believe in and do the things you love to do. The stars will align and you’ll reap the benefits.

What does being vulnerable mean? Can you explain?

Being vulnerable means being able to open up and be honest about your emotions, thoughts, and actions.

Trust me, it can be really challenging, but I think it’s tremendously imperative. And I don’t always enjoy being vulnerable. Sometimes, I actually get what I like to call, a “vulnerability hangover.” And it’s so true because I love telling the truth… but some people don’t. Sometimes I talk or journal about living in the light. I don’t like to have secrets or skeletons or things that I’m hiding. A lot of people don’t even realize that they themselves are really closed off and really cagey. This might work for some people but for me, to be my best self, I have to be honest, and sometimes that can offend people and it can also really stir the pot. People don’t want to hear some things that are maybe disheartening truths. Because to them, or even to me, I feel like you hear something and it might give you a different perspective on yourself, that you might not have had before. Overall, I’ve really learned that in every single aspect of my life, being vulnerable is important and has paid off.

What are the positive aspects of being authentic and vulnerable? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?

Being true to myself has made me gain so much in life. An example of being vulnerable is not holding back when it comes to creating my art. Whether it’s an adult movie scene or a book, it’s most vulnerable when I give my all and don’t hold back. It can feel overwhelming at times, but the reward is worth it in the end. If someone can be entertained or relate to my written word, that vulnerability really pays off.

Are there negative aspects to authenticity and vulnerability? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?

Absolutely, and I dive deeper into this in my book “From Princess to Pornstar.” I really feel like I have done all the work I can do in speaking out about misogynism and sexual harassment in the adult industry. And for that, I have been punished because many companies do not want to work with me anymore, especially companies that I’ve spoken out about. I get it, it makes sense, but some companies don’t want to work with me because of the fear of me being vulnerable and saying what actually can transpire. Obviously, it’s not my goal to do that, I have never and will never go into a job thinking, “Oh yeah, I really hope I get harassed so I can speak out about it.” That’s not me. However, there are a lot of people in power who like to silence people who speak the ugly truth sometimes.

By being vulnerable, I’ve risked my career and I have had to pay the price. It’s to the point where when I’m asked by big companies to be hired, to sign for them at conventions, I don’t have to, but I say no to the job. Not because I don’t want to be there, not because I don’t want the money, not because I want to be good for my brand, but because I fear running into people that I’ve been vulnerable about. I’ve spoken about them in a way that was just my honest experience, and that has unfortunately ruined a lot of jobs. It’s a price I’m willing to pay, but it’s not always fun.

From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that hold someone back from being authentic and vulnerable?

Great question… there are a few things:

People don’t want to burden other people with their emotions and their issues, and so whether it’s men or women, especially men, they often have a harder time being vulnerable. It’s like they’ve been socialized to keep it all in. So that not only impacts them but the people around them. It can be super scary. You don’t know how someone will respond, and when the response doesn’t align with your feelings, that can really hurt. It can create an ego situation, where you’re worried about what other people will think and then your ego is at stake, I would say these are the two biggest objections people have from truly being vulnerable. Sometimes people just get in their way. Maybe they don’t want to be vulnerable because what if it works? What if they are successful or what if good things do happen and it’s like “Wow, what have I been waiting so long for?”

That’s why I feel it’s so important to have a therapist because you don’t want to inundate everybody all the time. You don’t want to be dumping your mental load on your friends all the time, especially when it’s serious stuff because everybody has a capacity for what they can handle. Mental health is so important and seeing a therapist is important because you can be vulnerable in your life, but everyone needs help, you need support in order to be vulnerable.

What are five ways that being authentic and vulnerable pays off, and helps you win, both personally and professionally?

1. When you’re authentic and vulnerable in your daily life, people can see that, and it allows them to treat you with respect right off the bat.
2. When it comes to being vulnerable professionally, especially with your audience, or the people that are buying what you’re selling, it works in your favor because vulnerability nurtures honesty, and builds trust around the person and their brand.
3. Authenticity can really pay off in relationships as well. When you’re looking for a partner, you can only attract what you give off, so being vulnerable is going to attract somebody who is also authentic and vulnerable. If you’re in your most vulnerable and authentic place, you’re going to bring in somebody, hopefully, who is on that same level. If you’re not and you’re closed off, you’re more than likely going to find someone who’s also closed off.
4. The overall law of attraction, forget the romantic aspect, just the people that you attract in your life, your friends, the people you surround yourself with, personal and professional, I think that being authentic and vulnerable with them will allow them to appreciate you, respect you, and meet you halfway so to say.
5. Lastly, and most importantly, you have to just be your authentic self. You can’t live your life in a way that doesn’t allow your true colors to shine. Be confident and show up for yourself, this self-love will overflow to all areas of your life.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

I would implement consent classes in middle school. Absolutely mandatory for boys, Girls would be a part of it, but I would have the focus be on the boys. And no, it’s not just having little girls learn about how not to get raped and assaulted by holding pepper spray in their hands and not going in alleys. Instead, it would teach boys about the importance and steps necessary for mutual consent. Nor would this be a one-day class. It would be a normalized course just like math, science, PE, etc. Consent. It’s that important.

Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!

Kim Kardashian. Hands down. I just think she’s so fabulous. I love everything about her. I think she’s an icon. I’m obsessed with her. She is not for everybody, but because she’s authentic, genuine, and vulnerable, she is our biggest star. I think people just fucking love it and respect her because of her vulnerability and transparency. I find it incredibly empowering to be able to be like that. Not only in a business sense but her personal life too, the way she runs her family. I think she is a great role model.

How can our readers follow you online?

IG: https://www.instagram.com/tashareignslife/?hl=en

PURCHASE MY BOOK: https://www.amazon.com/Princess-Porn-Star-Real-Life-Cinderella/dp/B0C9VQ2NF1

Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!

About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.