Megan Forgie of The Shine Center LLC in Wayne: Inside the Quest to Transform Mental Wellness Through Safe Spaces and Open Conversations

Losing a loved one to suicide is a heart-wrenching experience. It can also be confusing, and it usually comes with a lot of mixed-up feelings, including anger and guilt. What are some things that family members would like other people to know about losing a loved one to suicide? As a part of this interview series, I had the distinct pleasure to interview Megan Forgie.

Megan Forgie is the Founder and Creator of The Shine Center LLC in Wayne, Pennsylvania. She is an Accredited Certified Professional Life Coach and leads many Mental Wellness Workshops on topics such as: Finding Your Inner Calm, Breathing Techniques,, Mindfulness In The Workplace, and Empowerment and Stress Reduction. Megan has been in the Wellness Industry for 13 years — (as a personal trainer, group exercise instructor, and corporate fitness manager), advocates for mental health, and continues to have a constant main focus and vision of creating educationally safe spaces, both virtually and in-person, where we can come together to learn, share, educate and help one another.

Thank you for your bravery and strength in being so open with us. I personally understand how hard this is. Before we dive in, can you tell our readers a little bit about yourself and what you do professionally?

Professionally, I am an Accredited Certified Professional Life Coach for my own business, The Shine Center, and I also lead many workshops that fall under the Mental Wellness umbrella. I am very active in the corporate fitness industry as well. Personally, I am a wife, mom of 2 boys, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, and friend to many. I love nature, the ocean, walking, time with my family, and being as present as I can with all of it.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?

I am always working on being in the know of the mental health trends and focusing on topics that seem to be the most important to people today. If I can provide a topic that brings out someone else’s story that maybe they were fearful to share — that is what I strive for every day — helping people share their story.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

My favorite Life Lesson Quote is “Choose to Observe rather than Absorb” — Many times with communication, relationships, socialization — we are surrounded by so many different energies and we struggle with what is ours and what is not; what we invite in and what we choose to have bounce off of us … This lesson/phrase is always such a great reminder that I/we get to choose what energy we invite in — we can choose to simply observe if it does not resonate with us.

Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Do you feel comfortable sharing with our readers about your loss?

Yes.

What was the scariest part of it?

Honestly, the scariest part for me was having to be the one to break the news to my husband. It was a Saturday morning. We had only been married for a year and a half. He went out to get his haircut and then to pick-up our breakfast sandwiches, which we so enjoyed on the weekends together. I was actually still lying in bed when my phone rang. It was my husband’s Connecticut house line on the caller-ID. I actually did not answer the first time as I just wanted to relax, but then it kept ringing, so I answered. It was the loudest-earth shattering scream on the other end of the phone. It was my sister-in-law. I could barely understand her, but when I finally could and a neighbor got on the call too, I heard the words. It was awful. And I was alone.

What did you think was the worst thing that could happen to you?

I was not necessarily worried about me at all — just my husband.

How did you react in the short term?

It is funny what your mind/body does as an instinct type reaction. My fingers dialed one of my best friends from college, Kim. She was in shock and speechless and begged me to hang up and call my Mom and Dad, which I did. And as I was on the phone with them, I heard my husband’s car pull in so hung up the phone. I walked downstairs to meet him halfway. He took one look at me and it is as if he knew just by me looking at him. He dropped everything and burst into tears and ran outside to the backyard and started punching a tree. His poor knuckles were so bloody and hurt. I was still in shock.

After the dust settled, what coping mechanisms did you use?

Then, the only mechanisms I knew were talking about it. I have always been someone who needed to get the “stuff” out. So as much as I could talk about it amongst my close circle of trust then, which was small — especially with this topic — I would.

Can you share with us how you were eventually able to heal, at least to some degree?

I am not sure if others in this situation would agree with me or not, but this type of healing is a constant daily type of healing. It is deep and needs tons of grace, compassion, love, and kindness. It is always there. I feel like the better I have become with my own self-care, self-awareness, and self-management — the more “in-tune” I am with this part of my healing and can work through it much easier. Walks, journaling, creating positive affirmations, appreciating myself and all I have been through … the list goes on and on …

In my own grief journey, I found writing to be cathartic. Did you engage in any writing during that time, such as journaling, poetry, or writing letters? If yes, we’d love to hear about any stories or examples.

I love to write! In the beginning, journaling prompts helped me most. Questions like: What is going well today; What am I struggling with and what am I learning from that. Things I am grateful for AND why — because the WHY is the money shot as really planting that seed deeper into our hearts and souls. A mentor of mine mentioned our Front Row — who is sitting in our front row and cheering us on/always there for us — I like to journal about that as well just to revisit those people I am lucky to know and have in my world.

Aside from letting go, what did you do to create an internal, emotional shift to feel better?

I chose to embrace Feeling is Healing and My Mess is My Message. Those 2 phrases really helped me with opening up and pivoting when needed. I also chose to be an advocate for American Foundation for Suicide Prevention as well as NAMI. Being around like-minded people was HUGE in my healing shift.

Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to cope and heal? Can you share a story about that?

My husband, Matt. Nobody should have to experience this type of pain … ever. There is no right speed for any type of healing, but for some reason his speed gained my admiration probably more than he knows. This was his mother he lost. Him being open to talking about it together as he/we needed and checking in on each other is a true testimony of our relationship and friendship and love for each other. And today — it is our boys that help us heal. They are 17 and 21 and are so wise and open to discussion on what happened and give us nothing but love and a safe space to share. They are going to change the world — I just know it!

What did you learn about yourself from this very difficult experience? Can you please explain with a story or example?

I have learned that as much as I enjoy feeling seen and heard, others need it just as much. You never know what one is going through in the backend. Just because they have a big smile on their face; Just because they seem like everything is going their way — does not mean they are not hurting on the inside. I have learned when I am feeling uneasy, to check-in with myself and feel what I am feeling, talk through it, write about it, call a friend, lean on someone I trust.

What did you do to get help and support for yourself?

In the beginning, I/we tried group grief session(s), but they just didn’t feel right. This was when I started using my voice more and sharing our/my story to just see if anyone else out there was going though/had gone through something similar. I read a ton of books, volunteered and advocated, — I did a lot of self-help because it worked for me! I have also learned that supporting others also supports me and supporting myself supports others. A beautiful constant flow. The more love I have within myself, the more love I have to give. The more peace I have within myself, the more peace I have to give.

What signs would you tell parents, friends or loved ones to look for in people they think may need help?

This is a question that I still struggle with because sometimes there are no signs … I would pay attention to social behavior, moods, any regressions, sleep patterns, school work/attendance, one word answers to questions — definitely try and dig deeper to get more info out if you. Our verbiage is so important in these situations.

Thank you for sharing all of this. Here is the main question of our interview. Based on your experiences and knowledge, what are five thing you want people to know about losing a loved one to suicide? Please share a story or example for each.

1. You never know what someone is going through. They could be smiling through all of it all of the time, so be kind, have empathy towards others, and less judgment.
2. This type of pain and healing is one of many layers simply due to the continuous loop of questions that will replay in your mind. Be kind to yourself when these questions arise. Give yourself love and time to process and reach out for support.
3. People are here to support you as you grieve. Once you are ready to share your story, we are here to listen in a safe space.
4. Healing is a constant. There is no finish line to what you have just gone through. Try to not put any deadline on when to “feel better.”
5. YOU MATTER! I am always here to listen!

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

Funny you ask! I actually do already have a movement I have created all on my own in 2019 called “I Appreciate You”. I print and donate stickers all over the world. They have a sunflower on them from the YMCA garden where my father and I would grow some with our vegetables. I Appreciate You is my most favorite phrase. I had a co-worker say it to me back in 2018 and it stopped me in my tracks and brought me to tears. I joked and said I was going to start a movement and here we are. New friends from all over the world reach out for stickers, so I pop them in the mail and off they go with zero strings attached. Hearing you are appreciated without any “why” is simply acknowledging someone as their true being as they share space in this universe with us! We are all connected. So great! I am happy to share more on that. My sticker insta acct is below.

We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. :-)

Oh wow! Great question!! I would say Hoda Kotb and Oprah. Both speak on so many levels on the mental wellness spectrum and reach soooooo many people when they do speak. It would be an absolute honor to share space with them and chat about life! Wow — how amazing that would be!

How can our readers further follow your work online?

https://www.theshinecenterllc.com

Instagram: @theshinecenterllc

Instagram: @iappreciateyouxoxo

ABC News article: https://6abc.com/timely-kindness-random-acts-mom/6393835

I Appreciate You Shop: https://i-appreciate-you.creator-spring.com

Thank you so much for your courage in telling your story. We greatly appreciate your time, and we wish you only continued success and good health.

Thank you so so much for hearing me and giving me such a safe non-judgemental space to share with you.

PHOTO CREDIT: ROBERT PIEROSH

About The Interviewer: Pirie is a TedX speaker, author and a Life Empowerment Coach. She is a co-host of Own your Throne podcast, inspiring women in the 2nd chapter of their lives. With over 20 years in front of the camera, Pirie Grossman understands the power of storytelling. After success in commercials and acting. She spent 10 years reporting for E! Entertainment Television, Entertainment Tonight, also hosted ABC’s “Every Woman”. Her work off-camera capitalizes on her strength, producing, bringing people together for unique experiences. She produced a Children’s Day of Compassion during the Dalai Lama’s visit here in 2005. 10,000 children attended, sharing ideas about compassion with His Holiness. From 2006–2009, Pirie Co-chaired the Special Olympics World Winter Games, in Idaho, welcoming 3,000 athletes from over 150 countries. She founded Destiny Productions to create Wellness Festivals and is an Advisory Board member of the Sun Valley Wellness Board.In February 2017, Pirie produced, “Love is Louder”, a Brain Health Summit, bringing in Kevin Hines, noted suicide survivor to Sun Valley who spoke to school kids about suicide. Sun Valley is in the top 5% highest suicide rate per capita in the Northwest, prompting a community initiative with St. Luke’s and other stake holders, to begin healing. She lives in Sun Valley with her two children, and serves on the Board of Community School. She has her Master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica and is an Executive Life Empowerment Coach, where she helps people meet their dreams and goals! The difference between a dream and a goal is that a goal is a dream with a date on it!