Blaine Anderson of Dating By Blaine: Inside the Pivot from Luxury Travel to Online Dating Coaching

The COVID19 pandemic has disrupted all of our lives. But sometimes disruptions can be times of opportunity. Many people’s livelihoods have been hurt by the pandemic. But some saw this as an opportune time to take their lives in a new direction.

As a part of this series called “How I Was Able To Pivot To A New Exciting Opportunity Because Of The Pandemic”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Blaine Anderson.

Blaine, who has been featured in NBC, Cosmopolitan, Elite Daily, FOX, AskMen, and Ask.com, among others, found her calling as a dating coach early in life during her undergraduate years at the University of Arizona when she was asked by her guy friends how to date her sorority sisters. As her reputation grew, Blaine was increasingly approached by guys eager to hear what she could share about the female perspective on dating, romance, and relationships. Fast forward 10 years to today, Blaine has helped thousands of guys learn the fine art of “dating marketing” and “winning the girl”. Now through her online master class, private coaching, and personalized matchmaking, Blaine has been able to pass her insights and strategies to countless men. For more information visit datingbyblaine.com, and follow @datingbyblaine on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok for daily tips and insights on dating for men.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

My name is Blaine Anderson, and I grew up in Tucson, Arizona as an only child. I always referred to my pets as “siblings” growing up– I’m a big animal lover! I’m very social, and I was very active in sports and clubs growing up. I was on soccer teams and swim teams as a kid, and in high school, I joined the first girl’s lacrosse team in Tucson.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

“When you want something, all the Universe comprises in helping you achieve it.” — Paulo Coelho

I love this quote from The Alchemist because I’m a big believer in manifestation. The world is a hard place and there’s a lot of red tape, so if you don’t believe you can achieve or obtain something, you probably won’t. But if you believe what you want is possible, that you deserve it, and that it’s in your future, the thing you seek may find its way to you.

I’m aware this sounds like woo-woo pseudo-science, but there’s some real psychology here! Your beliefs and desires seep through your thoughts, words, and actions — what you communicate to yourself and others directly impacts the opportunities that come your way.

Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

Since we’ve already talked about The Alchemist, I’ll go with The Courage to Be Disliked by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi. It’s an introduction to Adlerian psychology told in a unique master-student dialog format. Few books are more illuminating and empowering, and I recommend it to clients all the time. If the title provokes you, you should drop what you’re doing and buy the book immediately.

Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Can you tell our readers about your career experience before the Pandemic began?

Prior to the pandemic, I worked in the travel industry. I helped clients plan trips for special occasions like honeymoons, anniversaries, and birthdays to destinations like Argentina, Italy, Croatia, and South Africa. Most people only have about two weeks to travel each year, and a special trip like a safari might cost as much as a car, so it was incredibly fulfilling to deliver magical experiences to my clients.

Still, there were parts I didn’t love. In particular, if a client canceled their trip, I’d have to do days of unpaid work to unwind their plans. This came clearly into focus at the start of the pandemic, when international travel ground to a halt — my income dried up overnight, and I was working around the clock to secure refunds for now-canceled trips I’d already planned for clients. It wasn’t the happiest time in my life.

What did you do to pivot as a result of the Pandemic?

At first, I had no idea what direction to go in. I’d coached my guy friends on dating as a hobby since college, and I’ve always been an avid reader of psychology, but coaching didn’t seem like a viable career opportunity.

Other friends who had lost their jobs in the pandemic were enrolling in training programs for tech sales and design. I briefly looked into these programs, but I just couldn’t get excited about the prospect of a desk job — even when I’ve worked for other people during my career, I’ve never been tied to a desk full-time.

After turning a lot of other stones, I finally decided I’d give dating coaching a serious look because frankly, I had nothing left to lose.

Can you tell us about the specific “Aha moment” that gave you the idea to start this new path?

On one hand, there wasn’t an “aha moment.” My career as a dating coach technically began when I was in college at the University of Arizona. My guy friends would ask me for dating advice about my sorority sisters. That led to helping my friends, and friends of friends, with their dating troubles and app profiles post-college. I’d been coaching informally for years before I decided to make a professional go of it in 2020.

On the other hand, I did have an “aha moment” when my now-husband and I were discussing one of his acquaintances from San Francisco who was running a very successful business teaching people to start online courses. It made me realize my opportunity as a dating coach wouldn’t be limited to referrals from my existing social circles — I reach guys around the world online, and an online course would let me help more guys than I could by scheduling 1:1 Zoom calls.

How are things going with this new initiative?

Things are going great! Helping my clients gain confidence and take control of their dating lives gives me endless joy. Nothing is more rewarding for me than receiving a photo from a client of him and his new girlfriend.

The business side of things is great too. Since I went full-time less than two years ago, I’ve been able to grow my business to support a very comfortable lifestyle, and I’ve hired a wonderful full-time assistant.

Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

My husband. The pandemic was an uncertain time for everyone, and it was incredibly stressful watching my travel business, which I loved so much, evaporate. My husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, was my number one supporter and encouraged me to put all my knowledge and passion from one on one coaching into building an online course.

Transitioning to a course-based business is what really allowed me to take my coaching to the next level and allows me to help more men.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started in this new direction?

I found my first dozen or so clients on dating apps. I created Hinge and Bumble profiles for myself as a dating coach and offered a COVID-19 dating guide to my matches.

The apps obviously didn’t love this — I was constantly getting kicked off — so I knew this wasn’t a sustainable way to find clients for my business, but it illuminated the opportunity for me to reach and serve guys I didn’t know personally online.

What are your “5 things I wish someone told me before I started leading my organization” and why? Please share a story or example for each.

1. You only need one marketing channel to launch a business. When I first started coaching full-time, I was trying to find clients in a dozen different ways: dating apps, online ads, partnerships, blog posts, and more. I thought I needed to get the word out in every way possible, and I felt paranoid about missing out on an opportunity. After six months of trying to do everything, I was feeling burnt out, but it was clear that sharing free advice via Instagram Reels was the most effective way for me to reach guys, so I doubled down on that and ditched everything else.
2. Creating an effective marketing channel is hard. It took me hundreds of hours of trial and error to figure out how to consistently produce viral content for Instagram and TikTok. I almost gave up on both platforms a dozen times early on, because so much of the content I’d produce would flop after I’d spent hours producing it.
3. The difference between “OK” and “excellent” can be subtle. My Instagram and TikTok videos started getting dramatically more views as I picked up on a few subtle and almost silly-sounding production secrets from people who were getting better results than me. For example, filming in environments that look organic, like my car as opposed to my office, significantly boosted my viewership and followership. This isn’t to say “film videos in your car to go viral” — that may or may not work for you — but it is to say that seemingly immaterial details can have a material impact on your results, and testing of every variable.
4. Ignore the copycats. My business started to take off in the spring of 2021 when the video clips I was sharing on Instagram and TikTok started consistently getting hundreds of thousands of views. Almost overnight, a handful of copycat female dating coaches for men popped up and started distributing clips that were painfully (if not quite unlawfully) similar to mine. I spent way too much time feeling annoyed and frustrated about the copycats until I finally realized how wasteful this was. The reality is that if you achieve any sort of public success, people are going to copy you. But the silver lining is that because the copycats are focused on imitating you, they’re not thinking about what the customer actually wants. As long as you can stay focused on your customer, and not the copycat competition, you’ll always be a step ahead.
5. My customer wants a problem solved, not the product I’m selling. I think I knew this academically going in, but my business didn’t take off until I fully internalized it. Nobody wakes up wishing they were enrolled in an online course about dating, but a lot of guys wake up wishing they felt more confident around women, and it’s my job to connect the dots.

So many of us have become anxious from the dramatic jolts of the news cycle. Can you share the strategies that you have used to optimize your mental wellness during this stressful period?

Turn off your phone, and get outside! For better or for worse, news outlets are increasingly incentivized to push jolting and polarizing stories that are designed to trigger you emotionally. There’s something wrong with you if you’re paying attention and you’re not anxious.

The only way to combat this unsettling dynamic is to pay less attention. Being in nature has a cleansing effect for me personally because it reminds me that I’m a tiny spec on a massive rock flying through space that could be incinerated at any moment. It helps me appreciate little things that make me happy, like how everything smells like creosote after it rains where I live in Texas.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

Be kind and empathetic to everyone around you. If everyone truly approached their interactions with kindness and empathy, the world would be a better place!

Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!

That’s a tough question! I might pick David Letterman — I’ve admired his empathy, leadership, and sense of humor since I was a little kid.

How can our readers follow you online?

For free daily dating tips, check out my Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. To learn more about me and my coaching programs, check out my website Dating By Blaine.

Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!