Jordyn Hakes: Consistency Wins Over Perfection Every Single Time

As part of my series of interviews about “5 things you need to know to create a very successful podcast”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Jordyn Hakes.

Jordyn Hakes is a Washington-based sex and marriage expert and host of The Horny Housewife, a top-ranking sex and marriage podcast with honest insights into sex and the ups (and downs!) of marriage and long-term relationships. With her signature brand of raunchy humor and frank advice, Jordyn brings sex talk — from the basics to your wildest fantasies — out of the locker room and into your living room with weekly episodes.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would love to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit of your personal backstory? What is your background, and what eventually brought you to this particular career path?

I am married. I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, and we have a 5-year-old son together. I believe that I’ve been conjuring up “talking for a literal living” since I was a young girl. Ha! And I feel fortunate that this is my current reality. But, for most of my life, I idealized being a “housewife” — staying home, raising kids, and being a doting wife who cheers her man on and has hot sex on the regular. I grew up in, let’s say, a Stepford wives community, and I thought they had the life. My mother always told me, “You’ll want more, go for more!” I didn’t understand what she meant until I all of a sudden did. I realized I had checked off these boxes that I thought I “should.” I loved being a wife and stay-at-home-mom (I actually enjoyed the gig), but I knew I was wasting my potential by not going out and doing something I loved, something for myself! My day-to-day used to consist of doing things for others, and while it still does on a lot of days, there’s something new now — and it’s my thing. After my mother tragically and unexpectedly passed away in 2019, my entire perspective on life changed. I decided to get rid of any limiting beliefs I had about what I was worthy of and go for what I wanted. That’s when The Horny Housewife podcast and brand were born, and boy am I glad it’s here.

Can you share a story about the most interesting thing that has happened to you since you started podcasting?

In my opinion, the most interesting thing is how vulnerable people, who don’t know me, can get. I receive so many emails, direct messages, and anonymous submissions on my website that I am constantly hearing people’s concerns, woes, deepest desires, fears, wins, and losses. All of these people are essentially creating a lot of The Horny Housewife content, as discussing how to navigate intimacy in long-term relationships is a conversation that never ends.

It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

I recorded an interview with a guest for a podcast episode and realized 45 minutes in that I HADN’T actually hit the record button. It definitely wasn’t funny in the moment, but thankfully my guest was a sweetheart and we ended up laughing at my stupidity in the end.

How long have you been podcasting, and how many shows have you aired?

I have been podcasting for a little over two years and have not missed one single Monday of uploading. 122 episodes and counting!

What are the main takeaways, lessons or messages that you want your listeners to walk away with after listening to your show?

I believe every show allows both my men and women listeners to walk away feeling seen. You know, the feeling you have after you leave your best friend’s house, having just talked through everything you needed to about your relationship, and instead of being mad at your S.O., you’re excited to try new things… that’s what I strive for with my show. Each episode gives guidance on how to have hotter sex, create an intentional connection, and date one another.

In your opinion what makes your podcast binge-listenable? What do you think makes your podcast unique from the others in your category? What do you think is special about you as a host, your guests, or your content?

I know my podcast is bingeable, as I get so many DMs saying things like “I’m new and just listened to the entire archive in one week!” It’s like getting voice memos from your wing woman or best friend. It’s easily digestible, entertaining, and very informative. I created this podcast because I was outgrowing the “hook-up” culture podcasts that had single or dating hosts that I wasn’t relating to anymore. I also couldn’t find a married host who wasn’t sugar-coating things. I knew I could take a no-nonsense approach to topics that people actually want to talk about! I think the show is incredibly unique, and my listeners prefer solo episodes, but when I do have guests on, I make sure they rock! Sex therapists, experts, doctors, authors, and sex educators have all been featured on the show.

Doing something on a consistent basis is not easy. Podcasting every workday, or even every week can be monotonous. What would you recommend to others about how to maintain discipline and consistency? What would you recommend to others about how to avoid burnout?

Ahh, consistency! When people tell me they want to start a podcast, I always tell them that if I could only give them one piece of advice, it would be to be consistent. Your present (and future) listeners need to know that you’ll be showing up every week. I knew that if I wanted my podcast to stay on people’s minds, it needed to keep popping up on their recently updated list, so I committed to showing up every week, and I credit that to where I am today and my continual upward trend of growth. My advice to others would be to make a choice and then do whatever needs to happen to make sure that choice is followed through with. Don’t make excuses like “it’s not perfect enough” or “it’s not ready”. Get it ready then. Pick a day or two that’s dedicated to recording and editing. Consistency will win over perfection. To avoid burnout, reward yourself when you meet goals, and stay engaged with your community. Value your listeners, talk with them, ask them questions, and listen to their input. Hopefully your listeners will inspire you and your future content creation, and keep you motivated.

What resources do you get your inspiration for materials from?

When teaching techniques and delving into “how-to’s.” A large portion of the show each week is dedicated to listener questions, where men, women, and couples write in anonymously to ask questions related to their relationship and/or sex life, such as infidelity, threesomes, monogamy, sharing fantasies, talking about sex in general, mismatched libidos, and more!

Ok fantastic. Let’s now shift to the main questions of our discussion. Is there someone in the podcasting world who you think is a great model for how to run a really fantastic podcast? What are the ingredients that make that podcast so successful?

Some may beg to differ, but I stand by my claim that Jackie Schimmel, host of The Bitch Bible, is not only my spirit animal, dead mother and all, but my podcast host HERO. Jackie Schimmel-Haas has done it her way. I’m often pressured to do a video component, and I always reply that Jackie didn’t have to, so why should I? I can’t say I know her “recipe”, but I’ve admired her authenticity, boldness, and consistency. I think there are a lot of boring shows, so hearing a host say really REAL things, even if it isn’t always warm and fuzzy, is much appreciated.

You are a very successful podcaster yourself. Can you share with our readers the five things you need to know to create an extremely successful podcast? (Please share a story or example for each, if you can.)

1. Good audio: no one wants crappy audio. Do your research and get a good mic.
2. Be yourself: don’t try to be anything other than yourself. It is obvious and boring. Quirky is endearing, sarcasm is appreciated, be yourself and you’ll find your audience.
3. You either have to entertain or educate. I hate to say it, but no one cares what you and your bestie think about random sh*t. Are you really entertaining, or will this get lost in the 3 million other podcasts? The truth is, if you don’t have an existing huge platform, people don’t really care to hear what you have to say unless you give them a reason to. What are you passionate about, what do you have insight and perspective on that you could share with others? Entertain while providing something for the audience to consume.
4. Consistency: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Consistency is the powerhouse here. Keep showing up! Stay in the algorithm, and make sure your face, your audio, your name is popping up consistently. Avoid being out of sight, out of mind. Don’t let the desire for perfection cripple you.
5. Ask for what you want from your listeners! Want your listeners to subscribe? Ask them to. Want your listeners to check out your patreon? Guide them there. Remind them to review, rate, share. Help them help you!

Can you share some insight from your experience about the best ways to: 1) book great guests; 2) increase listeners; 3) produce it in a professional way; 4) encourage engagement; and 5) the best way to monetize it? (Please share an example for each, if you can.)

1. For a long while I used PodMatch, a service that connects podcast hosts with guests and vice versa! It makes it easy to connect and find the ideal guest for your show. I also recommend social media. Slide in those DMs!
2. Social media for the WIN! Create video content promoting your show. I don’t do a video podcast so I don’t have podcast clips to share, instead I make videos with content that my specific demographic would enjoy and direct them to the podcast as my CTA. I make sure my videos use trending audio and that has been a very successful way for me to get new ears listening to the show.
3. Record in a studio or in a room that is the most insulated so sound can’t bounce off everything. This will allow for the clearest audio (that and a good mic). I edit and produce my own show, while others choose to outsource.
4. Ask your audience! Take polls on social media. Ask your listeners to write in a question or write a review for the show. They can’t help if they don’t know how to.
5. Staying consistent and consistently releasing episodes will lead to the kind of growth that will draw in sponsors.

For someone looking to start their own podcast, which equipment would you recommend that they start with?

I would highly recommend the Blue Yeti mic for newbies and the Rode Podcaster Mic (which I am currently using) for those who can invest in it. A ring light is an absolute must for your Zoom interviews if you’re uploading video, and noise-canceling headphones should not be overlooked. People often think it’s optional, but it’s absolutely not. If your computer comes with Garageband or any other editing software, it’s totally fine. But if you’re doing a video component, I would suggest Final Cut Pro. It’s the best.

Ok. We are almost done. :-) Because of your position and work, you are a person of enormous influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

I want to inspire couples everywhere to be open and honest about their deepest dreams, wishes, and desires in their lives and relationship. I would love to create a movement where people prioritize their own pleasure and that of their partners and are more intentional about nurturing their relationship. Let’s normalize the ups and downs and celebrate the choice of love.

How can our readers follow you online?

You can listen and subscribe to The Horny Housewife podcast anywhere you listen to podcasts, and follow the show @_thehornyhousewifepodcast on Instagram and TikTok! Visit my website www.thehornyhousewifepodcast.com for all things about the show, submitting listener questions, and my Patreon!

Thank you so much for sharing your time and your excellent insights! We wish you continued success.

About The Interviewer: Jason Hartman is the Founder and CEO of Empowered Investor. Jason has been involved in several thousand real estate transactions and has owned income properties in 11 states and 17 cities. Empowered Investor helps people achieve The American Dream of financial freedom by purchasing income property in prudent markets nationwide. Jason’s Complete Solution for Real Estate Investors™ is a comprehensive system providing real estate investors with education, research, resources and technology to deal with all areas of their income property investment needs. Through Jason’s podcasts, educational events, referrals, mentoring and software to track your investments, investors can easily locate, finance and purchase properties in these exceptional markets with confidence and peace of mind.

Starting with very little, Jason, while still in college at the age of 19, embarked on a career in real estate. While brokering properties for clients, he was investing in his own portfolio along the way. Through creativity, persistence and hard work, he earned a number of prestigious industry awards and became a young multi-millionaire. Jason purchased a California real estate brokerage firm that was later acquired by Coldwell Banker. He combined his dedication and business talents to become a successful entrepreneur, public speaker, author, and media personality. Over the years he developed his Complete Solution for Real Estate Investors™ where his innovative firm educates and assists investors in acquiring prudent investments nationwide for their portfolio. Jason’s sought after educational events, speaking engagements, and his popular “Creating Wealth Podcast” inspire and empower hundreds of thousands of people in 189 countries worldwide.

While running his successful real estate and media businesses, Jason also believes that giving back to the community plays an important role in building strong personal relationships. He established The Jason Hartman Foundation in 2005 to provide financial literacy education to young adults providing the all-important real world skills not taught in school which are the key to the financial stability and success of future generations. We’re in a global monetary crisis caused by decades of misguided policies and the cycle of financial dependence has to be broken, literacy and self-reliance are a good start. Visit JasonHartman.com for free materials and resources.